Random thoughts.

- There are few times during the year when I'm glad I have crappy days off. This is one of them. I was watching the news the Friday and saw all the crowds at the various retailers. There were pictures of people out at 4:00 AM waiting for the stores to open. These people scare the hell out of me. It reminds me of shark week on the Discovery Channel. A person I work with is one of the sharks that participated in the chum-fest at Target. She said that she had to literally run to get the gift she wanted for her little girls when the doors opened. Mostly so she wouldn't be run over by the other 3 zillion people trying to get in the door. So after the initial frenzy is over I will calmly wake up early on Monday or Tuesday and accomplish all my shopping for the season. Yea sometimes it's cool to have crappy days off.

- Last night (or today during my nap between shifts) I dreamed that I was being chased by zombies. Must've been induced by the traffic report that included which mall parking lots were full. It really screws with you sleep when you only have four hours to to so. I woke up more tired then when I went to sleep.

- I really need to go flying again. It's been a long time since I've been at the controls of a plane. Waaaaaaaaay too long. I miss the hell out of it.

- My Subaru is making a funny noise that seems to be emanating from the suspension or the gear box. The thought of having to repair an AWD (all wheel drive) system is more terrifying than sharks and zombies. I'm considering selling the car. If I do, I'm going all aircooled. I'll have three VWs. The Buggy, my Bus, and a Beetle. I will also have four engines are all interchangeable on any of the aforementioned cars. When one breaks I'll swap the engine with the reserve. It only takes about an hour to do so.

- The weather here in Georgia has been absolutely friggin perfect the last couple days. Sunny and clear in the high sixties and low seventies. I'm sure it'll crap out before I get to my weekend.

- Trying to figure out what to do with L for New Years eve. It's her favorite holiday. I was lucky and managed to get the 30th and 31st off. A rod trip or a flight may be in order. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

The wagon.

Eight pounds in a week! How the hell did I gain Eight pounds in a week? I know exactly how I gained all that weight and, truth be told, I expected a gain with all the food that I've been eating. But eight pounds seems excessive for a single week doesn't it? It'll take me a month to lose that again. I'm not going to wait till March to start thinking about summer and pool parties this year. Time to hit the gym that I've been neglecting for the last month and a half.

Time to get back on the wagon (aka elliptical.)

Still alive.

I survived the week. Nothing was broken. My brother D. and his Amazon tribe left yesterday morning. His little girls are beautiful, brilliant, loving, and well behaved. At ages 9, 5 and 3 there was very little crying and bickering among them. I was pleasantly surprised. We did most of the things on my "to-do" list and had an overall great time. Thanksgiving was fantastic. The celebration was Wednesday because I had to work on the holiday itself. L and my sister-in-law did all the cooking and everything was uber tasty. We managed to buy just enough food so that L and I don't have tons of left-overs that we'll never finish in the fridge. As a matter of fact, we polished off the last of it yesterday for dinner.

I feel more relaxed than I have in a long time, which speaks volumes during the holiday season.

Bloggin Hiatus.

Taking a break (or is it brake) from the blog for about a week. I can almost hear the collective groan from all three of you regular visitors already. I know what you're thinking too. "You hardly have been posting anything anyway. You don't need time off you lazy bastard." And you're right but I have family inbound for turkey week and I'm going to be up to my elbows in little girls. Three to be exact. All under age ten. I'm shaking in my boots at the mere thought of my nieces in my home for over a week. I'm not scared for any of my things. Most of my stuff is crap and probably needs to be replaced anyway. I'm really scared for myself. L and I are used to our quiet lifestyle so this ought to be interesting. We have a whole week of activities planned.

Georgia aquarium
Corn maze
Parents night out. (L and I will baby sit while D and his wife go out)
Zoo
Museum
Movies
Girls shopping trip/Guys poker night
Frequent all local restaurants where kids eat free
Board games
Craft/VW night.
DVDs (Lots of kid flicks)
ect. ect. ect.

In the mean time, I have to do exactly one zillion things before they show up. Stuff like dust and hide the adult toys. I'll be back in a week or two if I survive.

Plaingeek relationship/dating wisdom.

I'm a realist. Or at least I like to think I am. The following are just my personal observations. It's my opinion and I welcome you to tell me what a total dumbass I am or even elaborate on my rambling.

Everyone wants their perfect mate. It's OK to be picky. Just don't go overboard. No one is perfect. You can get close, but perfection is unattainable. I suppose it depends on you definition of picky. How far is too far? Who truly knows? One of the biggest problems with peoples' perception of commitment is that it's easy if you find the right person. The true nature of living with someone is that it's never easy all the time (see my clone theory post). Just think about growing up with your family. These are the people that you love more than any others until you find that special one. Yet we've all had fights, sometimes huge fights, with the people we love most. It doesn't mean that the love is gone. Keep in mind that even the best couples butt heads and have conflicts. It's absolutely unavoidable. Especially with two intelligent individuals.

Many women want the man who is successful, intelligent, committed, open and loving. It seems like a reasonable request. But since time is a constant, there must be compromise. Few can manage to be all these things all the time. It's conceivable that you can find the "perfect" partner but you must keep in mind that no one, and I mean no one, is perfect in every given situation. It's important to try to see things from your partners perspective in a given situation. Our outside world can have major influences on how we act at any given time. Just think about that for a second.

A tough question you need to ask yourself while you look for the perfect mate is...Am I perfect? The answer is no you aren't. We are all flawed in some fashion or another. This isn't the end of the world. It's reality. Since none of us are perfect, we need to find a partner who either can overlook or make up for our weaknesses. At the same time, since you realize that you aren't perfect, you need to understand that you partner isn't either. Therefore, you'll have to pick up the slack where they fall short. It's like washing the dishes. It just has to be done.

Many women say they want to marry a "nice" guy. I believe that this is one of the biggest problems they face when looking for a mate. There are nice guys out there. The problem is that women aren't, at least not at first, physically attracted to the nice guys. And lets face it, there must be physical chemistry. Being nice and being attractive are generally diametrically opposed. Why? It has to do with life experience. Think about it. Why is the nice guy nice? It's because he had to be a good friend in order to get close to women. Don't believe me? Try coming on to one of your nice male (the guy who is like a brother to you) friends ladies. I guarantee he will reciprocate. Why is the attractive guy not nice? The attractive guy doesn't have to be nice because he has had women falling for him his whole life. This is not to say that an attractive guy can't be nice. It's possible, but he will be less likely to display it because he hasn't had to do so in the past.

Women often say they want a guy who is sensitive but still a "man." The flaw to this logic, besides the obvious, is it has nothing to do with gender. This has to do with intelligence. A smart person will also be a confident person. And because they're smart, they'll know the right times to assert their will. Basically, it's good to have a spine and better to know when to use it. Honestly ladies, despite what we say and the conventional wisdom/stereotypes, we really want you to have a spine too. Just remember to pick your battles. Some things are worth fighting for and some are not. Like I said, know when to use it.

Remember you are a couple and individuals as well. Don't smother each other and don't neglect each other. This is a tough balance to maintain but if you pay attention to your mate, you'll figure it out. This is driven mostly by conscience. If you have one you'll be ok. If not, I'm sorry, but you're screwed.

Communication is the key. You must tell the other how you feel. Express love and also express concerns as they arise. Those little things that annoy you can turn into a giant cancer on the relationship if you ignore them. They build and fester until the top overflows. This is truly dangerous to relationships because one side may be completely unaware there is a problem until it explodes in their face. My marriage almost ended early on because I kept bottling an issue up. When it blew up, we worked on it and now I'm a few months away from a ten year anniversary. I often think of what a catastrophic mistake that could have been. Don't let it happen to you. Communicate.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. There is no "happily ever after." Which is the illusion that is placed on marriage. We've been taught since birth that "the one" is out there and I believe that it's true. But "the one," realistically, can only be good for, at most, "95% happily ever after" which should be more than enough. If you can't come to grips with that, you'll never reach the 95% mark.

The "evil" ones.

WANTED FOR INDUCING LAZINESS

"Cashmere" aka "K.H." aka "Kitty Head." 11 or 12 years old. Average size cat weighing 8 lbs. Adopted us when L pet her (after I told her not to) in the parking lot of our first apartment.



Yea she's as prissy and even softer than she looks. She's scared of anyone she doesn't know.

"Caramel" aka "Cara" aka "Fatty." 7 years old. Small but fat cat weighing 13.5 lbs. We adopted her from my mom who picked her up as a stray kitten.

Probably the nicest, most relaxed cat I've ever had (and I've had a lot of cats in my life). She loves everyone.

They mostly only answer to their third nickname "Kitty Head" and "Fatty." L hates their third nicknames. I have no idea why I started calling the Persian "Kitty Head" but it's the only thing she responds to anymore.

Evil kitty Mojo.

In my never ending quest to find out why I'm so lazy and try to rectify the situation, I've discovered yet another reason (excuse) as to why I don't get more done. Those of you that have cats (and even some of you crazy dog people) will get this. I call it "evil kitty mojo." Cats have a magic ability to use transference, or whatever, to manipulate you into adapting their mood. It's similar to when a person yawns and you find yourself doing the same. Now that it's getting cooler outside, my cats like to spend an ever increasing amount of time in my lap. They're warm, they purr, and they nod in and out of consciousness. When they're in your lap they project their sleepiness and comfort on to you. It's relaxing and even therapeutic. If they had it their way, your lap would be on call 24/7 to do their bidding. Unfortunately for me, they get their way a lot in my house. I'm bad, but L is even worse. She loves those cat's so much that she will sit still to a point that she will cramp up in an effort not to disturb them. It's funny, she'll elbow me in bed and tell me to move over in order to accommodate the cat. Since we have a huge king bed, there's plenty of room. A third for the Persian, a third for L, and a third for me and the other cat who sleeps in "the hammock" between my knees. During the colder seasons every time I sit down anywhere in my house, there will be a cat in my lap (working it's mojo) within one minute. There is no escape. And, honestly, I don't want to escape.

Sometimes L will call from work when I'm home.
She'll ask me, "What's going on?"

I reply with, "Evil kitty mojo."

She says in an understanding tone, "So nothing will get done today."

"Probably not." is my truthful answer.

Dude! That's a lot of zeros!

I read in the USA Today that candidates and activists have spent 3.1 Billion dollars in advertising on the mid term elections.

3,100,000,000.00

Holy FUCKING SHIT!!! That's a ton of money to blow on telling everyone what an ass the person you're running against is. Like we didn't know that already. News flash to 99% of the candidates running right now. You're all asses and we don't need TV commercials and junk mail to tell us that. We could've built one of these with that money. Or maybe we could've rebuilt New Orleans, oh I don't know, six or seven times with that money. Where the fuck are our priorities? This is money people just give to these , underhanded, back stabbing, blood sucking, power hungry, out-of-touch idiots? Hell even buying a new Tickle me Elmo is a better deal. At least you could make a profit by listing it on Ebay on December 23.

Two words.

Election reform.