Striped Metal Jacket

Basic training in the nineties was an interesting experience. Try to imagine a combination of Stripes and Full Metal Jacket. At times it was truly hell, and others it was absolutely hilarious. It isn't like the old school days where the sergeants beat you into a pulp. We had a dude in our unit much like the "Gomer Pile" character in Full Metal Jacket only our Private Pile was discharged instead of shooting himself.

There were two drill sergeants in charge of every battery (artillery for platoon). When I first saw Sgt W I was in the chow line for my surf and turf. I remember thinking as I saw him pass in his mirrored shades, "I hope he's not gonna be my instructor." The mans' appearance alone scared the living hell out of me. He was in his late thirties and about 6'2" with a thick build. He looked quietly pissed. Sgt W came off like you just killed his best friend, but he wasn't going to yell at you or rage about it. He was just going to quietly walk up to you, rip your head off, and relocate it in your bum. As with all things Army and Murphy alike I ended up with my worst fears coming to fruition. Sgt W ended up as my battery leader. Sgt P, the number two man, was the smaller of the two men only in girth. Sgt P was younger and more wiry. A self proclaimed "preacher of the word," there was a kindness in his look which may only have been the contrast to Sgt W but, none the less, it seemed true. At least it did early in basic training.
Hind sight being 20/20, it's hilarious what they managed to accomplish. It seems that they played a Good Sergeant-Bad Sergeant routine on us. Sgt W started the game as "Bad Sgt" and Sgt P started off as "Good Sgt."

I remember about when they switched roles. We were standing in formation after a bunch of drill maneuvers. Sgt W had really been putting us though our paces. Trying to make us screw up so we could do yet more push-ups. Eventually one of us did. It think it was our own Pvt Pile who was the culprit. Old Sgt W absolutely went off on him. He was spewing out obscenities and ranting like a lunatic at poor Pvt Pile. The problem was it wasn't scary at all. I wish I could remember what he said, because it was one of the funniest things I ever heard. Everyone in the formation was trying not to laugh because laughing meant push-ups...Lots and lots of push-ups. You could hear hisses and short snorts come from all around the formation. Eventually, Sgt W moved away from poor old Pile and walked slowly to the front shaking his head the whole way. When Sgt W reached the front of the formation, with his back to us he looked down at the ground head still shaking back and forth in that no-no gesture. We all thought we were going to spend the next three weeks doing push-ups. Then his shoulders started shaking. As he turned around he removed his mirrored shades. He was crying with laughter. A hundred guys all erupted with laughter at one time and Sgt W became the good sergeant from that moment on. He was one of the funniest men I ever met. Don't get me wrong we still did lots of push-ups but we had found the human side of what was, up till then, an evil terminator on a mission to make our biceps bigger by making us screw up.


Memorable Basic moments:

• Running obstacle courses. Hard work but fun like a bunch of kids on a jungle gym.
• Waking up in my tent late one morning to find every one gone. I didn't get in trouble because the sergeants screwed up the head count and would've been responsible for leaving me behind. It was nice to sleep in till seven that morning.
• Firing all kinds of weapons including: M16, M60, 50 Cal, 105mm/155mm/8inch howitzers. I had never touched a gun until that point and it was nice to know I could hit a target 300 meters away with an M16.
• rappelling and watching Sgt P go down Ausie style (face first) in one bound only to stop inches from the ground. Turns out it was unintentional. He got a bad hook up from the lieutenant and what stopped him at the bottom was the rope wrapping around his arm and nearly ripping it out of its socket. "Better than doing a face plant" said Sgt P a couple days later with his arm in a sling.
• The gas chamber. It makes my eyes water just thinking about it.
• The great Pic of me and two of my cronies sitting in an outhouse in the snow. I know it's a crazy sick guy thing, but the grins on our faces were priceless and nothing was exposed because it was too damn cold to expose any more skin than you had to.
• Tears in my eyes from holding an M16 straight out in front of me for 30 minutes for saying "shit" within earshot of Sgt P.