War Stories

The army sucked about 90% of the time. I had, at one time, a list of 500 things I hated about being enlisted. The list, which I started compiling while I was still in my unit, was to keep me from joining back up when the time came for them to buy my loyalty. Whenever you're in a crappy job, like mine in artillery, they try and retain your services by offering you cash to sign on the dotted line again. When I was getting out, I wanted to make sure I didn't get blinded by their offer. Anything with three or four zeros behind it is a ton of money to a twenty year old kid. (LOL who am I kidding. It's a ton of money for a 33 year old man.) That's why I made the list. The army was a means for me to finance my education and the only reason I joined in the first place. I felt the need to move on with my life.

It's funny how my memories seem to work. Now that I've been out for over ten years, I look back at the whole thing as a largely positive experience. I remember mostly the good times, mixed in with a few of the worst days of my life. I was only in for two years and it seems that my experiences could fill a small book.

I learned to...
Become more independent. (fiscally and emotionally)
Do things mom would tell you not to do. (like jump off/out of things)
Develop social skills. (pick up women).
Blow stuff up. (throwing grenades is fun)
Drive off road. (muddy 4x4s are cool)
Live with some strange people. (there is no such thing as "normal")
Run. (never went more than a mile in my life till then)
Drink mass quantities of alcohol. (my head hurts just thinking about it)
Dig holes. (and fill the damn things back up)

The next few posts will be some of my more memorable moments in camouflage.