YOU WILL RESPECT MY ATHORITAAAA!!!

I almost was arrested yesterday. It was a normal morning. I'm in my car jamming out to some tunes trying to psych myself up for another day of tedium. I am the second car in line to make a left turn at the stop sign on to a one way street near a busy intersection. The white behemoth Suburban in front of me slides half way into the street in front of me and stops to let a few cars in the far lane of the one way street go by before he makes his turn. As he is making his maneuver I wait patiently at the stop sign. I'm looking to my right in anticipation of taking the first available opportunity to go. I see the Suburban make his turn. Nothing appears to be inbound from my right. I do have a small blind spot (I'm used to it because it's there every day) from the "DUI class" sign sitting on the sidewalk. When the way is clear, I tromp the gas in my little turbo powered terror and shoot out across the road behind the Suburban. As soon as I shoot out I see the damn cop who just happened to be in the blind spot behind the sign. The cruiser was a fair ways down the road. As soon as I completed my turn the blue lights came on. "Shit!" I exclaim to myself. I pull over immediately thinking the officer is going to get me for improper lane change because I shot across two traffic lanes in my little left turn maneuver. Looking in my mirror I see a female cop calling in her traffic stop from the Crown Vic. She saunters up to my drivers window and asks me the standard question.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" I have an idea but I don't want to give her any ammunition so I answer with a snipey.

"I have no idea."

"You failed to stop at the stop sign." came the reply.

WTF?!? I replay the events in my head and realize I had no choice but to stop at the sign while Suburban boy decided he wanted to jostle his monster truck into traffic.

I say "I apologize officer, but I absolutely did stop at the sign."

"Sir you did not stop. I'll need your license." No please from her, she could tell I was pissed.

I whipped out my paperwork and gave it to her. I was already raving mad that the bitch pulled me over in the first place. Now I find out that she is making up the reason she did so and to top it all off I've just been ranting about over priced insurance on this blog. I'm going to be late for work and fucking steaming to boot! Someone tell me exactly what the fuck the damn cops are doing in their cars when they pull you over and it takes 15 minutes to write 3 lines on a damn form. After what seems like an eternity, the wench finally comes back with my license and my ticket.

"Sign here." she points to the prescribed spot, "Understand by signing that this is not an admission of guilt."

NO SHIT ITS NOT! My brain is screaming to blurt out. I somewhat get myself under control and refrain from spewing obscenities at the lady. I was not, however, able to keep mouth completely in check.

"Thank you for wasting my time and increasing my insurance rates for nothing." comes out of my mouth as she is half way to her car.

"You better cut it out or I'll arrest you!" she retorts.

Before I can stop myself, "For what? Jay-walking?" flies out of my pie hole.

"Obstruction!" comes the answer.

I can only come up with two reasons she gave me that ticket.

1 - She had to tap her brakes when I shot out in front of her.
2 - She was PMSing and needed a victim to take her frustrations out on.

I really dislike cops because there have been too many times they have pulled me over for no other reason that I can discern other than to harass me.