This isn't helping her get out of my head.
She was the girl next door or, in this case, across the street. A cute little redhead a couple grades behind me in school. Originally she was too young for me. At least she seemed to be when I first met her. I was passing through puberty and she merely a slightly annoying little girl who would smile and wave at me. I was polite to her and would return the wave as I left my house to ride my bike to school in the morning. When I was out mowing the yard she would come over and follow me around the yard to yap about things and still I was polite and friendly. Occasionally she would come and knock on my door to ask if I would come out and talk to her. Despite our age difference, we became friends. It came to a point where I would walk across the street and we would sit in her front yard under the tree and talk in the shade. This went on for some time.
Her mother liked me would give us drinks during our conversations. I was always good with moms. I never met one that didn't like me almost immediately (there's one exception but that's a different post). I had some sort of wholesome charm that appealed to them. For some reason, I didn't seem threatening to mothers. Dads knew better but hers was a Navy man and was rarely around.
...I'm getting off track here.
Almost overnight, the girl next door became a woman or, at least, developed into a strapping young teen. My feelings quickly became muddled by her pheromones and I began experiencing feelings of lust. I didn't act on these feelings at first. She went to a different magnet school and we rarely crossed paths when we weren't at home. I think it was shortly after she transferred to my school that we started dating. The relationship progressed slow even though we had known each other for a long time. There were some nice make-out sessions and some groping but we never "went all the way." We did get busted in my car on a dark street one time but we weren't really doing anything and the cop lets us go without calling any parents.
Eventually I did take her virginity. It was planned ahead of time. Both our rooms faced the street. One late night I climbed out of my window, scurried across the street, and tapped on hers. She told me to meet her at the back door where she led me by my hand through the dark house. This didn't stop me from bumping into things and making noise that I thought surely would rouse her sleeping mother. We made it to her room undetected. She had the place all decked out. There were a couple candles lit and there were blankets spread out across the floor. She didn't want to make love in the bed because the springs were noisy. I still remember what she was wearing...A pink floor length night gown with nothing underneath. We made love quietly in the candlelight stopping occasionally to listen for her mother and trying not to giggle when we bumped into things in her room. I wasn't a virgin but it was special for me. I hope and believe that it was for her too.
We continued to date and I never had any inclination to break up with her. She has the distinction of being the only girl I've ever dated who broke up with me. I've always before and since been the heart breaker. It came at me from left field. I wasn't ready for it. I can't even remember what was said. I could feel my heart breaking but I think I was in shock because all I could do was agree with what she was saying. Something about remaining friends...bla bla bla. I was crushed but showed no emotion. We remained friends (once again where she is the only one who it ever worked with) and I would still sit in her yard and talk to her on occasion, but not nearly as often or long. I eventually moved on and dated other girls. Then I graduated and joined the Army.
I wrote to her while I was in basic training. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I fell completely in love with her while I was there. She did write me back. The letters came in flowery envelopes and smelled fantastic. I saved them all and still have them to this day. I'll have to dig those letters out and remind myself what we wrote about one day. I do remember her telling me that the only reason she broke up with me was to see if I would beg her to take me back. It was a test I failed in her eyes. Still, we wrote back and forth letters while I was in basic and I was ready to give my heart to her near the end of my training. I think that's when she moved to go to college.
We only talked a few times while I was stationed in KY. I found out that she married a guy she met when she went to college. She had a little boy with that guy and seemed happy. I never really heard from her again until about eight years ago. My first house was about a block away from my mothers home. L and I had lived there for couple years or so. One day I received a call. I suppose it was lucky that I happened to answer the phone because it was the girl next door on the other end. She found my name in the phone book. It must have taken some guts to call me after such a long time. The conversation was pretty short and I could tell she was uncomfortable after I told her I was married. We exchanged emails. It was back when everyone on the planet was on AOL. We became pen pals for a time. I found out she was divorced or she was never actually married. Turns out the guy she exchanged vows and had a child with was already a married man or something to that effect. We set up a meeting at one of our old high school hang outs for lunch. I had no ill intentions. L knew about the meeting and was comfortable with it or at least pretended to be.
When I met the girl next door at the hang out she was exactly how I remembered her. I was truly hoping that she had become fat and grown warts all over or something but she hadn't changed at all except she was more beautiful as a woman than as a teen. I was extremely disappointed, however, because she brought her goofy friend from high school who I could never stand. I was looking for closure but was unable to get to any real in depth conversation because her goofy friend sitting there silent and judging. So it was all superficial "hows the weather" type bullshit. The one notable question was about her child. She hadn't mentioned his name in any of the emails and when I asked how her boy was doing by name, you could tell it hit her like a physical blow. After lunch, we went our separate ways and I haven't seen her since. We continued to email each other for a while but it all ended when I told her about a facet of my life that she just couldn't get past...
but that's another post I may or may not ever get to on this blog.
Her mother liked me would give us drinks during our conversations. I was always good with moms. I never met one that didn't like me almost immediately (there's one exception but that's a different post). I had some sort of wholesome charm that appealed to them. For some reason, I didn't seem threatening to mothers. Dads knew better but hers was a Navy man and was rarely around.
...I'm getting off track here.
Almost overnight, the girl next door became a woman or, at least, developed into a strapping young teen. My feelings quickly became muddled by her pheromones and I began experiencing feelings of lust. I didn't act on these feelings at first. She went to a different magnet school and we rarely crossed paths when we weren't at home. I think it was shortly after she transferred to my school that we started dating. The relationship progressed slow even though we had known each other for a long time. There were some nice make-out sessions and some groping but we never "went all the way." We did get busted in my car on a dark street one time but we weren't really doing anything and the cop lets us go without calling any parents.
Eventually I did take her virginity. It was planned ahead of time. Both our rooms faced the street. One late night I climbed out of my window, scurried across the street, and tapped on hers. She told me to meet her at the back door where she led me by my hand through the dark house. This didn't stop me from bumping into things and making noise that I thought surely would rouse her sleeping mother. We made it to her room undetected. She had the place all decked out. There were a couple candles lit and there were blankets spread out across the floor. She didn't want to make love in the bed because the springs were noisy. I still remember what she was wearing...A pink floor length night gown with nothing underneath. We made love quietly in the candlelight stopping occasionally to listen for her mother and trying not to giggle when we bumped into things in her room. I wasn't a virgin but it was special for me. I hope and believe that it was for her too.
We continued to date and I never had any inclination to break up with her. She has the distinction of being the only girl I've ever dated who broke up with me. I've always before and since been the heart breaker. It came at me from left field. I wasn't ready for it. I can't even remember what was said. I could feel my heart breaking but I think I was in shock because all I could do was agree with what she was saying. Something about remaining friends...bla bla bla. I was crushed but showed no emotion. We remained friends (once again where she is the only one who it ever worked with) and I would still sit in her yard and talk to her on occasion, but not nearly as often or long. I eventually moved on and dated other girls. Then I graduated and joined the Army.
I wrote to her while I was in basic training. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I fell completely in love with her while I was there. She did write me back. The letters came in flowery envelopes and smelled fantastic. I saved them all and still have them to this day. I'll have to dig those letters out and remind myself what we wrote about one day. I do remember her telling me that the only reason she broke up with me was to see if I would beg her to take me back. It was a test I failed in her eyes. Still, we wrote back and forth letters while I was in basic and I was ready to give my heart to her near the end of my training. I think that's when she moved to go to college.
We only talked a few times while I was stationed in KY. I found out that she married a guy she met when she went to college. She had a little boy with that guy and seemed happy. I never really heard from her again until about eight years ago. My first house was about a block away from my mothers home. L and I had lived there for couple years or so. One day I received a call. I suppose it was lucky that I happened to answer the phone because it was the girl next door on the other end. She found my name in the phone book. It must have taken some guts to call me after such a long time. The conversation was pretty short and I could tell she was uncomfortable after I told her I was married. We exchanged emails. It was back when everyone on the planet was on AOL. We became pen pals for a time. I found out she was divorced or she was never actually married. Turns out the guy she exchanged vows and had a child with was already a married man or something to that effect. We set up a meeting at one of our old high school hang outs for lunch. I had no ill intentions. L knew about the meeting and was comfortable with it or at least pretended to be.
When I met the girl next door at the hang out she was exactly how I remembered her. I was truly hoping that she had become fat and grown warts all over or something but she hadn't changed at all except she was more beautiful as a woman than as a teen. I was extremely disappointed, however, because she brought her goofy friend from high school who I could never stand. I was looking for closure but was unable to get to any real in depth conversation because her goofy friend sitting there silent and judging. So it was all superficial "hows the weather" type bullshit. The one notable question was about her child. She hadn't mentioned his name in any of the emails and when I asked how her boy was doing by name, you could tell it hit her like a physical blow. After lunch, we went our separate ways and I haven't seen her since. We continued to email each other for a while but it all ended when I told her about a facet of my life that she just couldn't get past...
but that's another post I may or may not ever get to on this blog.
Labels: relationships
posted by Glenn at 8:10 AM
5 Comments:
Perhaps one day you will get around to blogging about that one aspect. Oddly, it made me wonder what the little boys name was.
And Glenn, I think we all have that person (like your little red haired girl) in our closet.
And, I did reply on my blog. Sorry about that impression I gave you.
If it's any consolation, I'm a little red head. I dated a boy when I was seventeen who I later broke up with because I was scared at the intensity of his feelings (not to test him though, that's a dreadful thing to do).
Even now, 16 years on, I still think about him with regret. He is the one person in my life that I feel I owe a full and frank apology to. I screwed him up, but I was to screwed at the time to see that. I've never forgiven myself. Perhaps your redhead hasn't either, for what it's worth.
that's a sweet story. thank you for taking the time to share it.
Jenny: His name is Tyler. I always liked that name. Wish she would've brought him instead of her friend. I imagine I'll get around to that "other thing" eventually. Should make for some good reading.
Ginger: I wish you were her. There are some things that I would still like to say. I hope to run into her agian one day.
Jane: Thanks it feels good to read what I wrote but still makes me think "What if..." which is not so good.
I agree with Ginger Doll that testing you was a terrible thing for her to do! Granted, she was young and foolish, but still. If she was 100% happy with the relationship I wonder why she would do that. Perhaps it's a sign that it wouldn't have worked out anyway and if she hadn't done that, it would've been someone else? It's sad she got duped by the married man she had her child with. I'm sure she regrets ever breaking up with you.
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