Well, you know...Shove it!

Seriously, I really think I am a decent guy. Reading that last post makes me sound like a postal worker. I guess I'm one of those people that you can only push so far before I snap.

I believe, as a human being, every one is entitled to a certain amount of respect. You don't earn it. It's automatically granted. I assume that every adult I meet is a reasonable and intelligent human. I grant them automatic respect as a result of this assumption. I try to listen to their thoughts and ideas and give them the benefit of the doubt that they know something about what they say. Everyone deserves this type of respect unless they do something to lose it. It doesn't matter what your social status or job title is. You just automatically get that from me. I guess where I fall short is that I expect the same in return.

It always blows me away when people disrespect me. I have tolerance to a certain point. I'm (at least I think I am) very tolerant with the people who disrespect me. I'm starting to see this as a character flaw in my personality. The problem is that people don't ever expect me to blow up at them. They think, because I let them get away with it before, that I'm always going to roll over and die. Sometimes I wonder what I look like when I reach the breaking point. I can see the outright surprise and, sometimes, even fear that I've put on people faces when I snap. I need to start learning how to give warning that I'm about to lose it.

It had been several years since my burger melt down. I had been in the work force since I was sixteen including a stint in the Army without any incidents. I was a college educated working stiff in a job that, for the first time and possibly the last, I actually enjoyed. I was in charge of my own department. My customers were demanding and the job was extremely fast paced.

The day before had been a monster but I managed to get everything done despite my assistant calling in sick. It was early the next morning and I arrived at work with the intention of catching up on the previous days loose ends. I was a little worn down from the previous day and was having difficulty beating the rust off. The caffeine my body requires to function had not yet been supplied. My assistant was sick again so it was going to be another long one. The good news was that it was Friday and, if I busted my ass, I wouldn't have to come in during the weekend. We were having a banner month which was one of the reasons I was so busy. About an hour into the day I get a call from my boss. The conversation went something like this with him on my speaker phone.

"Glenn, how are you doing this morning?" My boss and I were actually friends outside work so we had a good rapport.

"I'm good but my assistant is sick again so I'm solo yet again today." He and I both had a rough month so far given the amount of business we were doing.

"Hey," he said "Could you tell me what's going on with project X?"

"Sure." I brought it up in my computer and instantly knew what his next question would be.

Before I could say anything he asks, "Why isn't this done in project X?"

"I..." was all I managed to get out. The problem was a common glitch in the billing/inventory system that we used. The work was done and all I had to was take two minutes out to fix it so it would show up correctly in the system.

"You know I need this to be done in order to close out this transaction." he stepped over me.

"Hang..." was all I could say.

"We need to get this done ASAP and this is your priority as of this second." his tone was elevating with every word.

"But..." I was cut off again.

"Damn it! I have to get this thing done YESTERDAY. Why isn't it done yet?" He continues.

"Becau..." Again he stepped all over me.

This type of exchange went on and he continued to chew deeper into my ass with me not even able to get a single word out over a simple fix that could have been done in the time he was taking to ride my butt. I met that magic point where I couldn't take it any more so "click" I hung up on him. Instantly my phone rings again. I pick it up and he asks if I hung up on him.

"Yep." I reply calmly, "If you're not going to listen to me, why the hell should I listen to you?"

His office was adjacent to mine. I hear a smash as he tosses his phone against our common wall and a huge commotion as he trips all over everything in his rage to get out of his office. We have a common door that we share but, on my side there is a book shelf blocking it. This is a good thing for me or I might not be here to tell the story. The door smashes into the shelf and opens a quarter of the way before stopping. He was a rotund guy and was unable to wedge his body through the opening. At this point, I'm out of my chair to meet him at the opening. He is frothing at the mouth screaming at me with his body wedged in the doorway. I'm yelling back at him. The last two sentences of the argument were this.

Me- "You WILL fucking respect me!"

Him- "Clock out and go home!"

So I did. I went home, fired up the old resume, and started to look for another job. I spent all weekend refining my resume and digging up leads. On Monday I get a call about ten AM.

I answer, "Hello."

"Are you coming into work today?" Comes my bosses voice.

"Um...I thought you fired me."

"Did the words 'You're fired' ever come out of my mouth?" he says.

I think for a second, "I guess not."

"So Are you coming in then?" he asks.

I pause for a second and say, " Before I come back to work you and I need to have a talk."

"OK come on in and we'll sit down this morning."

I went to work and when I got there he was with a customer. I walked into my office and grabbed the paperwork that he had been whining about on Friday. I had three goals in the conversation that was to follow. First, I wanted a full apology. Second, I wanted to be paid for all of Friday and the few hours I missed on Monday. Third, I wanted assurance that he would give me a little more respect when we had interactions in the future. I didn't even have to ask for the first two. He immediately offered those up. As a friend, he told me that he was under a great deal of stress and it would never happen like that again. I went back to work for a few weeks before we had another showdown that ended with.

"Clock out and go home!"

When I got to my house I called up his boss and put in my two weeks notice. Do I regret it? Yes and no. Yes I regret it because I had an awful time trying to land another job with my specialized skill set. No I still didn't feel bad for sticking to my guns when I knew I was right. After my most recent fiasco I touched on here, I found I lose more sleep over swallowing my pride and going against my nature than losing the actual job. Maybe I am problem child and need to learn how to handle things better but I have no idea how.