PlainGeek

Hello again.

2010-10-20T20:58:00.003-04:00

So I've been gone a year or two. I can't really remember where I left off. This used to be a great outlet for me and I miss it. I won't make any promises to post every day but I can say that I'm going to keep posting. Having a place to put my thoughts to words without fear of repercussions is very therapeutic. This place used to give me focus and I need that in my life.

My most significant achievement since I've been gone is I'm now the owner of my own airplane. Partial owner anyway. I partnered up with a friend and we bought a sweet old bird. She's a classic beauty and I love her.

A 1948 (not a typo) Cessna 170. She looks similar to this one...
http://www.airliners.net/photo/Cessna-170B/1694125/&sid=90c4d739bea791e82184b4713d9953be

I'm airborne again!!!

Stimulus

2009-02-20T11:12:00.002-05:00

Listen, the trickle down theory doesn't work. By the time the money gets to the lower rungs of the ladder. There's nothing left for the people who need it. Giving money to banks and businesses doesn't work in a economy like ours. Giving money to the people does. So here is my proposal. Remove the current plan and do the right thing.

The Plaingeek stimulus package: Give everyone who filed a tax return last year a check for $8000.00.

In that instant the economy will recover. People who are in danger of losing their houses will catch up or refinance. People who want to buy a car will do so. Some people will invest it. Some will save it. Some will pay off debt. Some will make home improvements. There will be a spike in inflation, but that will be short lived.

The simplest solutions are usually the best. I guarantee this would work and it's fair for everyone.

This post is rated NC-17.

2009-02-12T10:46:00.004-05:00

The truth is I'm not all that well endowed as a man. I'm really not sure where I stand in the size department. It's really difficult to tell as a man. Men don't stand around in a room comparing size and it really doesn't count when you're not erect which doesn't happen in a locker room. So I don't really know exactly where I measure up. I can say that I've seen my share of porn and I know that I'm no where near what I've seen in that arena. But that is to be expected. They don't hire guys with average members for that kind of work. I've read articles that say the average size is around five inches but who knows how accurate those studies are because men are uncomfortable about sharing this type of information when they feel insecure which probably skews the results. I'll just say that I'm average and let it go at that.

I've decided that my size and possibly insecurity regarding that is the reason I love to go down on women. Its always been my favorite part of sex because it's the only way I've ever given a woman (who I haven't suspected of faking it) an orgasm. Nothing turns me on more than when I bring a woman to climax. I love it when I can feel them start to climax. Sometimes they hold their breath. Sometimes they start to convulse. Sometimes it's quiet. Sometimes it's loud. Sometimes my head gets crushed between their legs. Sometimes they seem paralysed. But no matter how you slice it, I'm 99% certain when a woman has truly made it to Shangri-La. Over time, I've became pretty good at telling what a woman likes and dislikes during sex by doing something surprising. I ask them. Sometimes I make them show me. I relish the thought of burying my head between a woman's legs and working until the job is done. Many a time I've (especially with my wife) been down there for two hours or more, bringing on multiples or one great big one. The Energizer bunny has nothing on my desire to bring pleasure to a woman. I will not surrender until they climax or beg me to stop because it turns me on like nothing else.

What if? (caution rambling ahead)

2009-02-06T11:49:00.001-05:00

Recently I had some friends talk me into signing up on Facebook. I never really had any desire to get on a social networking site. I was perfectly happy in my own little cocoon in the Georgia woods. After I joined, I went through and added the friends that wanted me to join to my little group. Then a funny thing started happening, people I remembered and people I didn't started sending me friend requests. So I accepted those that I knew and ignored those that I didn't. Then I thought about all the people that I remembered through the years and started to dig into the "find friends" portion of facebook. As it turns out, Facebook is much more fun than I thought it was going to be. The most significant thing about joining has been the triggering of the "what ifs" and I found myself daydreaming about my life and how it turned out. Everyone has those thoughts that run around their head. We wonder what would've happened if a single event was different in our lives and how things would have turned out had we taken the other road. Facebook has been a catalyst that triggered a colossal "what if" in my head.

When I was in tenth grade, my mother went broke trying to survive in LA. I think she was on the verge of a complete breakdown. So she picked up the family and hauled us off to Florida to live with my aunt. I played strong but I was really devastated to be moved across the country to a new place. I never gave much deep thought to the turn my life took until I fired up facebook and started reconnecting with the friends I left behind. The most fundamental effect moving had on me was my school performance. In the city of angles, I was and A/B student and generally a good kid. Moving to Florida had a dramatic effect on my grades. At first, I was as good a student or better than I ever was. My classes in Florida were easy compared to that of LA. I managed to get good grades without even trying and developed bad study habits as a result. Eventually, after a year or so, this caught up with me and my grades began to plummet to the point that I eventually ended up repeating the eleventh grade. This was unimaginable in my past life. It still hurts me to this day that I managed to tank a year of school. I've never been considered stupid by any stretch of the imagination. I sure ended up feeling that way when I played (in the band) at what would've been my own graduation. When I finally did graduate from school, I was lost and I knew it before hand. That's why I joined the Army via the delayed entry program. I had crappy grades and my folks had no money to pay my way through college. I joined strictly for the college money. As it turns out, joining the Army was probably the smartest move I ever made. As much as I HATED it while I was in, it has given me everything I have had since and, most certainly, given me the discipline I lost in the later years of high school.

So Facebook has put the crossroads that I was forced to take in perspective. I have given much deeper thought to how my life would have been had I not left California. My thoughts have always been those of regret for leaving my life behind on the west coast. I've always felt (and still do) that I don't belong in the south east. The southern mentality doesn't mesh with my personality and it's mostly because I grew up and developed my personality through my mother and friends in the west which was a much more tolerant and advanced society. At least it was through the eyes of a tenth grader who has since grown. In LA I went to a magnet school much like that of "Fame." I had to audition to get in. I had three music classes per day and, as a result, I believe I would've ended up as a musician or in some facet of the music industry. I believe I would have managed much better grades and gained a scholarship to a decent school. I would have also been a physically softer person. My magnet program allowed me to substitute a music class for physical education. I would have never been in the Army either and, most certainly, ended up overweight or possibly even obese. I also would have never picked up a cigarette to smoke. I have boredom and my cousin to blame for that one. He encouraged me to smoke and I did it initially for entertainment during my first summer of boredom and friendlessness in Florida. I'm still paying for that choice now. I would've been a more emotional person had I grown in LA as well. My current life has hardened my personality. I'm more jaded and rarely show any emotion at all. I'm forever on a slow burn and keep a level head about everything. I wasn't like that my whole life. The younger version of me was much more likely to smile, laugh, cry, and show love. All of that is still in me but suppressed and much less likely to be shown.

After much thought about who I am and who I might have become, I've come to the conclusion that I like who I am. If I had to do it all over again I would follow my current path with only one exception...

I never would've started smoking.

Yea, I know.

2009-01-30T11:04:00.002-05:00

I know I promised to blog more in the new year. I've really wanted to as well. I want to take this little diary to the next level and cover all kinds of things that are significant to me. There will be some fun reading coming but it won't be as often as I would like. This is my own little secret corner of the web and even my wife doesn't know about its existence. I used to do most of my blogging at work during the slow night and mid shifts. Starting this year, however, it has come down the pipe from the tech guys who run our business network that "the man" is now tracking all of our internet activity (sites and keystrokes) so I now avoid my blog at work. I'm still going to try to get my words in here but my blog time is limited to when my wife isn't home and I have the time to get here. As it stand right now, I'm going to be attempting to get one GOOD post here per week which will still be more than I managed to get on here last year.

Stay tuned.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T21:40:00.002-05:00

Hope you have a peaceful day even if you don't celebrate the holiday.

I plan on blogging more this year. I sure do miss venting to you guys and gals. I've been storing up some good stuff. Hopefully I'll remember it when it come time to post.

The Prez

2008-11-06T01:18:00.002-05:00

I must say I'm glad Obama won. Now I don't have to move to Canada or Mexico. I hope he can (even in the slightest bit) live up to the expectations placed upon him. It must be a huge burden. I fear for his safety as well. You know some crazy bastard is going to try and take him out. They always go after the good ones.

It's going to be an interesting four years to come.

Is it over yet?

2008-11-01T17:10:00.002-04:00

This election crap is killing me. Most of you know my position on the political scene. This crap is getting sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo old. They've been running these campaigns for over two years now at the cost of billions of dollars. At least I'll have a break for two years until the next one. Our political process needs to change. After they get elected, they immediately forget who the hell they work for. I do hope Obama takes it. It'll be fun to see how things happen with the the Dems in charge of everything. I'm absolutely sure it'll be more of the same BS like bailing out bankers in spite of people calling in 100-1 against it. They chose to ignore the people and give our money to their banker buddies anyway.

I expect more of the same no matter who gets the job. It's like The Matrix. The electoral process is just a smoke screen they pull over our eyes to make us feel like we have some sort of control. Just the fact that it's getting "close" with only a few days to go proves my point. No one has changed anything. They're both saying the same things they've been saying since the beginning. For some strange reason though, the losers seem to be gaining ground. If Obama loses, I'll probably never vote again until we figure out how to take the money out of elections. As long as there's money involved, it will continue to be a sham. The founding fathers would be organizing another revolution about now.

The definition of relaxation:

2008-09-22T09:59:00.004-04:00

Three days where you don't know or even care about what time it is.

I'll never understand why people feel the need to leave the country to get away from it all when everything you're looking for is usually a short drive away. I turned off my phone and left my watch at the house. I could've been 4,000,000 mil;es away from home.

Question of the week: Can you guess where this exotic location may be?

Dreaming my dreams into reality.

2008-09-16T07:20:00.004-04:00

I've decided that it's been entirely too long since I've been at the controls of a real aircraft. L and I have talked about it at length and I've decided I will buy an airplane next summer. My intention was to build my own for cost reasons but I've thought about it long and hard and I'm going to get a Grumman Traveler or Cheetah.

Grumman Cheetah

PlainGeek Tibits

2008-09-02T23:41:00.005-04:00

Famous people I've been told I resemble:
Jack Nicholson
Christian Slater
David Bowie
Tom Cruise
I understand the first three but I don't get the Tom Cruise thing.

Talent:
I played sax for over six years and, although I was never good enough to be a pro, I did manage to audition into a magnet school for music in LA. The only thing I ever liked about Bill Clinton was he played sax.

Education:
I read, spelled, and had the vocabulary of a 12th grader when I was in third grade and have only regressed since.
I blew one year of high school and rather than go to summer school and graduate when I should have, I went to my brothers wedding in back in California. For that reason, it's unlikely I'll ever go to a reunion.
I changed majors four times during my pursuit of a two year degree. Computer Programming, Business Management, Professional Pilot Technology, and ended up with Aviation Administration.

Aptitude:
I must know how all things mechanical work. I was fixing things my parents couldn't fix when I was ten.

Strange:
I believe that we're not the only intelligent life in our Galaxy. I think that it's likely that a very few UFO accounts are, in fact, alien spacecraft.

Ref: Preoccupied

2008-08-28T04:40:00.002-04:00

Got postponed.
Losing more sleep than usual.
Win or lose, I need this over.
For my sanity.
For my health.
Just give me some closure.

Is that too much to fucking ask?

This isn't helping her get out of my head.

2008-08-26T08:10:00.004-04:00

She was the girl next door or, in this case, across the street. A cute little redhead a couple grades behind me in school. Originally she was too young for me. At least she seemed to be when I first met her. I was passing through puberty and she merely a slightly annoying little girl who would smile and wave at me. I was polite to her and would return the wave as I left my house to ride my bike to school in the morning. When I was out mowing the yard she would come over and follow me around the yard to yap about things and still I was polite and friendly. Occasionally she would come and knock on my door to ask if I would come out and talk to her. Despite our age difference, we became friends. It came to a point where I would walk across the street and we would sit in her front yard under the tree and talk in the shade. This went on for some time.

Her mother liked me would give us drinks during our conversations. I was always good with moms. I never met one that didn't like me almost immediately (there's one exception but that's a different post). I had some sort of wholesome charm that appealed to them. For some reason, I didn't seem threatening to mothers. Dads knew better but hers was a Navy man and was rarely around.

...I'm getting off track here.

Almost overnight, the girl next door became a woman or, at least, developed into a strapping young teen. My feelings quickly became muddled by her pheromones and I began experiencing feelings of lust. I didn't act on these feelings at first. She went to a different magnet school and we rarely crossed paths when we weren't at home. I think it was shortly after she transferred to my school that we started dating. The relationship progressed slow even though we had known each other for a long time. There were some nice make-out sessions and some groping but we never "went all the way." We did get busted in my car on a dark street one time but we weren't really doing anything and the cop lets us go without calling any parents.

Eventually I did take her virginity. It was planned ahead of time. Both our rooms faced the street. One late night I climbed out of my window, scurried across the street, and tapped on hers. She told me to meet her at the back door where she led me by my hand through the dark house. This didn't stop me from bumping into things and making noise that I thought surely would rouse her sleeping mother. We made it to her room undetected. She had the place all decked out. There were a couple candles lit and there were blankets spread out across the floor. She didn't want to make love in the bed because the springs were noisy. I still remember what she was wearing...A pink floor length night gown with nothing underneath. We made love quietly in the candlelight stopping occasionally to listen for her mother and trying not to giggle when we bumped into things in her room. I wasn't a virgin but it was special for me. I hope and believe that it was for her too.

We continued to date and I never had any inclination to break up with her. She has the distinction of being the only girl I've ever dated who broke up with me. I've always before and since been the heart breaker. It came at me from left field. I wasn't ready for it. I can't even remember what was said. I could feel my heart breaking but I think I was in shock because all I could do was agree with what she was saying. Something about remaining friends...bla bla bla. I was crushed but showed no emotion. We remained friends (once again where she is the only one who it ever worked with) and I would still sit in her yard and talk to her on occasion, but not nearly as often or long. I eventually moved on and dated other girls. Then I graduated and joined the Army.

I wrote to her while I was in basic training. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I fell completely in love with her while I was there. She did write me back. The letters came in flowery envelopes and smelled fantastic. I saved them all and still have them to this day. I'll have to dig those letters out and remind myself what we wrote about one day. I do remember her telling me that the only reason she broke up with me was to see if I would beg her to take me back. It was a test I failed in her eyes. Still, we wrote back and forth letters while I was in basic and I was ready to give my heart to her near the end of my training. I think that's when she moved to go to college.

We only talked a few times while I was stationed in KY. I found out that she married a guy she met when she went to college. She had a little boy with that guy and seemed happy. I never really heard from her again until about eight years ago. My first house was about a block away from my mothers home. L and I had lived there for couple years or so. One day I received a call. I suppose it was lucky that I happened to answer the phone because it was the girl next door on the other end. She found my name in the phone book. It must have taken some guts to call me after such a long time. The conversation was pretty short and I could tell she was uncomfortable after I told her I was married. We exchanged emails. It was back when everyone on the planet was on AOL. We became pen pals for a time. I found out she was divorced or she was never actually married. Turns out the guy she exchanged vows and had a child with was already a married man or something to that effect. We set up a meeting at one of our old high school hang outs for lunch. I had no ill intentions. L knew about the meeting and was comfortable with it or at least pretended to be.

When I met the girl next door at the hang out she was exactly how I remembered her. I was truly hoping that she had become fat and grown warts all over or something but she hadn't changed at all except she was more beautiful as a woman than as a teen. I was extremely disappointed, however, because she brought her goofy friend from high school who I could never stand. I was looking for closure but was unable to get to any real in depth conversation because her goofy friend sitting there silent and judging. So it was all superficial "hows the weather" type bullshit. The one notable question was about her child. She hadn't mentioned his name in any of the emails and when I asked how her boy was doing by name, you could tell it hit her like a physical blow. After lunch, we went our separate ways and I haven't seen her since. We continued to email each other for a while but it all ended when I told her about a facet of my life that she just couldn't get past...

but that's another post I may or may not ever get to on this blog.

Preoccupied

2008-08-13T00:45:00.003-04:00

I've been meaning to get back into this blog but I currently have a life issue that is taking up all my waking moments. Without getting into to much detail, I'll tell you this...

Over three years ago I was fired from a great career by someone with authority who decided (I guess) that they just didn't like me. Next week I get to try and resurrect my career by having my day in court so to speak. All my waking moments for the next two weeks are going to be devoted to salvaging what was taken from me but I will be back here...hopefully with a vengeance and a sense of vindication.

Interactive....

2008-07-23T18:42:00.004-04:00

...question of the week.

Is there any question you would like to ask the PlainGeek?

No question is too dumb or too smart. Nothing is out of bounds. Feel free to ask in anonymous form or via email. I promise to answer as thoughtfully as possible.

Flying, Floyd, and Foliage

2008-07-12T01:54:00.006-04:00

I remember being in a literature class in school and we were discussing symbolism of one of the various classics we were reading. I glazed over (as I often did in high school) when teachers would go into long lectures about how "this" actually meant "that" and "this" is what the author actually meant when they wrote "that". I never remember any of my English teachers ever backing up any of those interpretations with any sort of facts like "the author revealed this in a later work" or anything to that degree. Many a time, during those discussions, I thought to myself, "Who the hell are these people to speculate what the hell the author was thinking when they wrote it? Maybe they meant exactly what they wrote."

How the hell did I arrive at this juncture today you ask? Well I was watching this video of the plane I want to build (see link on right) on youtube earlier this evening and hearing Pink Floyd's "Learning to Fly" in my head while I watched it. I remembered that many people think the song is about drugs when it's actually about flying an airplane. Floyd has been associated with drugs for so long that everyone thinks every song they ever wrote was about pot.

My point? Most of the time a tree is just a damn tree.

Stupid drivers.

2008-07-08T14:36:00.003-04:00

Question of the week/month/yea....whatever.

Have you ever flicked on your turn signal to go around a curve?

Yes I have and I just saw another dude do it yesterday and was greatly relieved that I'm not the only person who's done that.

A night in the life of the Plaingeek.

2008-07-01T21:51:00.002-04:00

Usually goes something like this...

9:00 PM. Watch pointless TV show to make me tired.

11:30 PM Get sleepy and climb in bed.

12:30 AM Still staring into darkness eyes wide open while mind runs wild thinking about everything and nothing.

12:35 AM Get frustrated and head to the back porch to have a smoke.

12:40 AM Snuff out cig and sit in silence for a few minutes while listening to the sound of the woods.

12:50 AM Realize that there is no way I can sleep until I'm absolutely exhausted.

12:51 AM Hop on computer and surf blogs and favorite sites in hopes that sleepiness will return.

1:20 AM Feel eyes get heavy again and climb back in bed.

2:00 AM Silently wish my brain had a fucking off switch and wonder why the fuck it doesn't seem to work unless it's sitting on my pillow in the dark.

2:05 AM Roll back out of bed and return to the computer to take my aggressions out on other virtual WWII pilots with insomnia.

4:53 AM Barely able to hold bloodshot eyes open and fall back into bed. Body, thankfully, overrides brains ability to maintain thought and blessed sleep comes swift.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat.
At least once per week.

Gump-alyzed

2008-06-14T08:13:00.006-04:00

I wish I could say that I was one of those "glass half full" kind of people. But I'm not. I haven't figured out exactly where I stand yet (which is funny considering my thoughts as I write this). I'm either a pessimist or a realist. I really want to be a realist and I'm hoping that is what I am.

I'm 35 this year and it's floated into my head that my life is, most likely, half over. I often tell L that I'll be lucky to make it past 60. I never met either of my grandfathers they were both gone before I hatched. My dad has had 1.75 heart attacks. My mom died of cancer. When grandma died, she had no clue who her middle daughter was. I drink coffee like it's water, smoke a pack a day, and eat bunches spicy fattening food. I'm the poster child for a heart attack that's waiting to happen. Given the above mentioned medical facts about my family, keeling over from "the big one" is my preferred method of departure.

But this post isn't about my family medical history. It's about what is going to happen next and why. When I look at my life as half over, I see two things from where I stand. It's like standing mid way on a suspension bridge. First, looking backwards from where I came from, I see a life of floating around, Forrest Gump style, and going where the wind takes me. Second, Looking forward, I've decided to take a more active roll in steering my own path. Sadly the things I want to accomplish at this moment all seem superficial and strangely pointless when you think of it from a "what did he do with his life" perspective which is semi paralyzing and puts me right back on the Forrest Gump path. I guess I'm at one of those quintessential "What are you going to do with your life?" moments. I would like to believe that I can change the world for the better but, like I said, I'm a realist.

I think I'm going to focus on personal satisfaction for now. This includes three goals as of this moment (yea here I go with the goals again). First, I want to finish building my other car by September 1st. Second, I want to get in shape again. I miss not being afraid to take off my shirt and I've developed a severe redneck tan as a result. This terrifies me because I associate that this the country bumpkins that I can't stand here in GA and is unacceptable. Third, I need to improve my work situation. I don't want to just flounder here at this crappy dead end job for the rest of my life. If I must work to live, it just has to be more fulfilling than my current job or at least make me busy enough to not look at the clock every ten minutes.

Even if I just start taking a more proactive roll in where my life is headed and what I'm doing I think I'll be a more content individual. No more floating on the breeze like a feather because I only have 35 more years or so to get it all done...if I'm lucky.

Get out of my head!

2008-06-14T07:58:00.004-04:00

I haven't seen you in over six years.

I know we wouldn't have made it as a couple in the long haul.

Too many personality conflicts.

Still, I find my mind meandering every once in a while.

I google you about once per year.

You have invaded my sleep several times lately.

Each time I woke up I couldn't remember what happened in my dream.

But even after being awake for some time, I still had a pleasant feeling thinking about you.

Sometimes I miss you.

Now

Please Please Please....I beg of you...

Leave my cranium and never return!

You think I like my car?

2008-06-08T01:04:00.003-04:00

It's been at least two posts since I mentioned it. A friend took this pic of me driving back from a show.

I've been trying to finish "The Touch" posts but it just keeps degrading into porn so I'm going to leave it to your imaginations.

Hmph.

2008-04-30T07:34:00.002-04:00

The Dems have raised almost 1/4 of a BILLION dollars trying to get the nomination. And that's just the money we know about.

Imagine what could be done with $250,000,000.00 dollars. Just think about it for a second.

Instead we spend that money on TV ads and bumper stickers for something that will only last four years (if one of them actually gets elected). Campaign reform needs to be the single biggest change in out political system. There is too much money in politics for it to ever mean anything to the real people in this country. Our forefathers are vomiting in their graves. Nobody spends 1/4 of a billion dollars unless they expect to get something in return.

The truly sad thing is that the same people that dip into their check books to give these people money are the same people that will tell a beggar to get a job rather than part with a quarter or a turkey sandwich.

The touch. Part 2

2008-04-27T00:09:00.007-04:00

Your eyes had the same effect as the smallest digit on your right hand. Just the way you looked at me burrowed into my spine and made me feel warm. We conversed for a time and it was the same as before. I felt like my desire for you was as palpable as if there were a ten foot gorilla in the room. As the party wound down, we continued to linger and talk about everything and nothing. I could tell the alcohol was starting to have an effect on you as your words and gestures became more exaggerated. I was high on nothing but you. Your laugh was contagious. Your smile was infectious. Everything you did seemed effortless. Occasionally you would reach out and touch my shoulder while laughing at one of my bumbling attempts at humor. Each touch increased my craving for more. Fear crept into me as more guests departed the event and I began to feel like our time was coming to an end. My scrambled brain was so preoccupied by desire that it wouldn't function properly anymore. Then there was a silence between us. I screamed at myself in my head, "Say something you idiot! Anything!" All I could do was look into your smiling eyes and wish that I could touch you all over. My fear made me feel as though you were going to reject me. My normal confidence and swagger left me. Once again, you reduced me to feeling like inexperienced school boy. All hope was lost.

Then you asked me for a ride home.

Getting there.

2008-03-09T04:31:00.005-04:00

Whoever said "It's about the journey, not the destination." Must have been driving a VW bus. Nothings cooler than driving a car that brings smiles to peoples faces just by idling at a light.

Yes that's a bear crossing sign taken while driving the Jolly Rancher through FL this last summer.

The touch. Part I

2008-03-02T03:00:00.002-05:00

At the party our pinkies touched. That's how it all started. The innocent little accident where our two little digits came in contact sent an electric shock through my system. My hand was on the railing and we were having a conversation about the weather or something trivial that I can't remember now. The moment your hand came down next to mine on the wood rail is etched in my memory as surely as taking a chisel to stone. I instantly felt the warmth of your touch even though it was only perhaps a millimeter of our mutual skin that came together. We both pretended like we didn't notice the contact. Our hands stayed stationary for the duration of the conversation. Only when the revelry moved inside did we finally break our little contact.

I mingled with other friends and tried, in vein, to play it cool. The spark that had been lit wouldn't go away. I found myself looking at you without trying to be obvious about it. It was like a kid at his first school dance. The longer the party went on, the more I felt myself stealing glances your way. I began to believe that the connection I felt was all imaginary until, during one of my stolen moments, I saw you looking right at me. Your eyes were penetrating and vibrant. I felt my cheeks turn red in a millisecond and instantly looked away as if it never happened. So much for playing it cool. I made every effort to ignore you. The harder I tried, the more you filled my head. I laughed and joked with my friends but everything seemed stale, contrived, and forced...because it was. I couldn't stand it any longer. I had to find you and make up some reason to talk to you again. My head panned the room as I pretended to listen to my friends drunken banter. A small twinge of panic crept into my veins when I didn't see you. I excused myself from my current conversation under the pretence of having to go to the bathroom. I walked only a few steps when I saw you coming toward me. Your eyes drilled into my soul and I felt naked. It was as if you had some magic power to burrow into my deepest thoughts. Somehow I gained a semblance of control and smiled. The left corner of your mouth turned up into a devious smirk that made me feel as if you actually could read my thoughts.

I wanted you.

My picks for '08

2008-01-26T23:56:00.000-05:00

Obama on the D side.
He seems fresh and I think that he's thier best shot at beating the rebublicans this go around.

Ron on the R side.
Old school dude who seems to call it like it is. He's getting votes too. If they would only give him equal time in the debates he might have a shot to, at least, get some ideas on the table before they run him out of the race.

Let no one named Bush or Clinton ever be elected again as long as I live. I'm tired of the Monarchies/Dynasties/Bullshit or whatever you want to call it.

Side note/question of the week:
Watching Obama's victory speech in South Carolina tonight, I noticed his wife was wearing the wool skirt/suit that was made ever popular by Jackie O back in the day and seems to be the uniform of all female politicians nowadays. L and I both wondered why she couldn't wear something more stylish and current. Hell it might even lend more credibility to the campaign. Which brings me to my question of the week.

Does anybody (with any style whatsoever) wear pantyhose anymore?

If what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...

2008-01-26T07:51:00.000-05:00

How the hell did I end up in Georgia?

For those of you who don't know, your favorite geek was born in Sin City. No I'm not the product of a crazy night of gambling, free drinks, and all you can eat shrimp for $2.99. My parents lived in Las Vegas and I'm an "accident." My dad worked the midnight shift as an airline mechanic. I'm the result of a couple that was finding ways to entertain themselves while waiting for a labor strike to end. Dad likes to remind me that my berth wasn't covered by insurance because he wasn't technically working when I was conceived. Sadly, for my parents, the boredom continued after the strike and their marriage ended while I was little more than a toddler. Mom packed up myself and my older brother D and we found ourselves in the City of Angels. I did most of my growing up in LA with a brief small town stint in Indiana. My mom remarried and had two more boys. I was a sophomore in High School when LA became financially too much for mom to handle. So again I was packed in a car and driven to Jacksonville Florida where I got my first taste of the South. It was culture shock to say the least.

I still remember my first day of high school. My first class was a biology lab. The teacher introduced me and told everyone that I had moved there from LA. This instantly made me popular in the class. After roll was called and the lab experiments began, I was swarmed by every girl in the room. Popularity wasn't something I was used to. In LA I was one of the dregs of scholastic society barely worthy of acknowledgement. I was one of the poor kids that lived on the wrong side of the boulevard (in LA the middle class is poor to the insanely rich). I was completely out of my element in my first social engagement as a Floridian. But what really threw me off was not the discomfort of being in a new situation. Not that at all. It was the first question out of the first girl who talked to me. She asked me, "What church do you go to?" Right then and there I knew I wanted to go back west. Ever since that day I've felt out of place.

My personality just doesn't mesh with southern culture.

I'm soooooo full of shit.

2008-01-12T07:05:00.000-05:00

Right after a big long post about how I need more substance This is all I've got.

Go Jaguars!

Ya gotta love an underdog.

The Robot and The Cookie Tin.

2008-01-04T23:05:00.000-05:00

So after last years fiasco L and I made sure we had decent plans for New Years Eve this go around. We absolutely refused to find ourselves stuck on a farm with a bunch of dudes wearing overalls and holding Chinese made projectiles this year. We didn't want to spend too much money and wanted to go somewhere we hadn't been before. After consulting a road atlas, we decided that Savannah, GA looked like fun. I know what your thinking... "But Glenn, that's still the south and there are rednecks there too" and I agree with you. But when you stay in a hotel like this and go on a party cruise, the whole southern thing slips into the background.

L and I had a fantastic time. We drove down Sunday and checked in to the hotel. It was a beautiful property. We had a river front room with a great view complete with expensive cabin cruisers moored right under our third floor window. L was excited and wanted to go check out the river front. We dropped our bags off and proceeded to walk out along the river. It was sprinkling out but not overly cold. We darted in and out of touristy type stores located in cool old buildings that have been there since before the civil war. There were candy shops, T-shit vendors, craft emporiums, art galleries, restaurants, and pubs galore. It was actually pretty fun until the rain started to pick up. We gave up for the evening and went back to the hotel for some much needed libations and appetizers. We sat outside on the covered second floor deck of the bar and listened to the rain fall while we slurped hot crab soup and pounded down cocktails. From our perch we watched the street full of eve of the eve party goers shuffling around below. Some were trying to avoid the rain while others were reveling in it. Feeling a little tipsy and with the the temperature dropping, we decided to head back to the room. We showered together to warm ourselves from the chill and ended the day with pillows strewn about and heavy breathing. Smiles were plastered on our faces as we drifted off to sleep with a warm glow emanating from beyond the windows through open curtains. A perfect end to the day.

Don't you just love it when you wake up in a great mood? It seems so rare for me to just wake up with feeling great that I take special note when I do. January 31st, 2007 was one of those good mornings. L and I were both well rested. It was going to be a beautiful sunny day with temperatures in the mid sixties. Perfect for our plan to explore the downtown area of the city. We strapped on our sneakers and headed down to the lobby in a quest for an interesting place to have breakfast or, more likely, lunch given the late hour. Passing through the revolving door at the main entrance to the hotel, we were greeted with an interesting site. The street, which had been busy with automotive traffic the following evening, was devoid of all but one vehicle. It was a large box truck with blue lights mounted on top. Looking down the street to the right, we saw there was a police car parked at the end of the block diverting traffic away from the block where the box truck was parked. Looking to the left, we saw crime scene tape strewn across all the corners of the intersection with several police units parked and officers milling about like your typical roadside construction crew. Wanting to see what all the hubbub was about, L and I moved in for a closer look. The cops were too far away to interrogate so I assumed that they were getting ready for a parade or maybe setting up for a fireworks display or ball drop or the like. Then I noticed what it said on the side of the truck in the street. Savannah Police Department Bomb Disposal Unit. Not long after we noticed the trucks purpose, one of those bomb disposal robots came rolling out of the back. It was a weird contraption with wheels and arms poking out in various directions. It rolled down the road and went to a U.S. Customs building on the corner and proceeded to climb/drive up some pretty steep stairs. For a minute, it looked as if it would fall over but it eventually made it to the top. It was about this time that I decided that we probably didn't want to be spectators to this event in case there were any validity to it. I pride myself in being a person with good common sense. Although I was fascinated by the events unfolding in front of me, the little voice in my head said "Hey Dude. If there is a bomb in there, you definitely don't want to be one of the idiots it kills just because you were rubbernecking." L agreed with the voice in my head and we headed away to find some food.

We ran upon this cool little cafe by the river front that was nestled on the bottom floor of an old building. They advertised breakfast all day. Since it was below street level and a couple blocks away from where the bomb squad was doing their thing, we decided it would make a good bomb shelter as well. We had a dish called Crab Benedict (think eggs Benedict with a crab cake wedged between the egg and bacon) which was tasty. After the meal we continued our exploration of the city. We walked the river front and browsing many of the art galleries that were closed the previous evening. Eventually we ended up downtown strolling around and investigating all the trendy furniture stores ($45,000 light fixture) and fashion boutiques ($35 used t-shirt complete with coffee stains) you find in urban areas. After putting some serious mileage on our sneakers, we ended up back at the hotel bar getting an early start on the evening festivities. There we heard one of the hotel guests talking about the bomb scare. He said that the authorities were dispatched to a suspicious package that had been found in the building and it turned out to be a tin of holiday cookies. According to this story, it was just an envelope but I liked the idea of chocolate chip shrapnel better. Feeling a little buzzed, L and I headed back to the room to change for our cruise.

The trip down the river was ten times more entertaining than we thought it would be. The boat had three decks and each one had its own little party going. The bottom deck had a lounge lizard type dude playing a keyboard, the middle deck had some '70s grooves rolling, and the top was all modern hip hop stuff. The hor'dourves were good and we ate more than our fair share. At midnight the captain floated the boat right in front of a fireworks display where L and I kissed and drank champagne amidst the revelry. It was a great start to 2008.

Starting Fresh.

2008-01-04T07:57:00.000-05:00

So another year has passed. Happy new year to my four or five blogger friends that still show up to read the mad rambling of an airplane geek. I've been thinking for a while as to how my blog will continue and have decided that I need a little more content in here. I'm not referring to my absence or infrequent posts. I've always asserted that a blog is truly for the blogger, not its readers. Forcing yourself to add content for the sake of your readers takes away from the heart of what I think a blog is all about and turns it into mindless mess like a myspace page. I think it's great that you find value and take time out of your life to read my meandering thoughts and post your comments. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy. It really does! But I don't want to take this blog down the road of just posting anything like...I don't know...how many times I've vacuumed my living room this month just to give you something new to read. I feel that zero posts is better than just filler. So this is my resolution to you. I'm not saying that I'm no longer going to post mindless drivel. That's pretty much all I do post. What I am saying, is I'm now going to discontinue posting stuff that I feel is completely mundane day-to-day crap that drives most of us to read blogs in the first place. Fair enough?

Couple posts that are rattling around my head right now...

"The Robot and the Cookie Tin"
"If what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...How the hell did I end up in Georgia?"

Fuck em. Fuck em all.

2007-12-16T01:54:00.000-05:00

Just don't care anymore. I'm gonna post regardless of the consequences.

Quick update for those who thought I fell off the edge of the blogosphere.

I've completely failed @ my gym goals.
I have finished a couple books and started a third.
We have a location for the VW show we're planning.
We purchased a new car for L. (PJ you'd love it!)
The front door has been fixed and broken again.
You all know what happened to the Q of the week.
I give up on the vacuuming.

More to come later.

Not my fault.

2007-08-13T11:11:00.000-04:00

In case some of you didn't know, I do most of my posting while I'm at work. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, L doesn't know about the blog and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm a little afraid to post from home. Second, I discovered blogs while bored at work. It's not that I'm slacking, it's just that there isn't much to do at my job when it gets late. My work is very simple most of the time. My job exists simply as a backup for when things go wrong. So when things are running smoothly, I have a bunch of down time to blog and catch up on reading other blogs.

Recently (last week sometime) we had our tech department come in and run some updates on our computers. Since that day I haven't had any Internet access at work. (Gotta love those tech guys!) This, consequently, caused me to already fail at one of this months goals. I haven't been able to post my question of the week. Part of the update they installed is the addition of password log-ons. They say that it's for added security but we all know that it is really just a way for big brother to track our computer habits. So now, even if I get my access back, I'll have to be careful about what I'm doing at work. I'm afraid that my all too infrequent posts will become even more infrequent. So bare with me as I work though this period of inactivity and find some other way to manipulate my schedule in order to get consistent blog time in.

There are also some other issues that I can't discuss now which might severely limit my ability to post. I'll update as soon as I can work some of this nonsense out.

Honey, you probably shouldn't...

2007-08-05T02:46:00.000-04:00

So L and I are trying to get on top of our gym habits. We're also trying to drop a few pounds. Typically what happens to us on an annual basis is that we lose weight in the summer and pack it on during the winter. As we get older, it gets more difficult to shed our winter... insulation, so we've been trying to watch our diets as well. This summer we haven't done well in losing our winter weight. I've been making the effort and watching my caloric intake and so has L but there is one big difference between the two of us. She loves her sugar. Don't get me wrong, I like the stuff too, but I tend to enjoy my meals more than dessert. Which brings me to the point and this weeks question of the week.

How do you tell a woman that's sitting down in front of the TV with a bag of Oreos that it's probably not a good idea to eat the whole thing?

I personally never say anything anymore because, in thirty four years of life, I can't come up with a tactful way to do it. I realise sometimes we all need to self-medicate with some good old fashioned gluttony but I know that she's going to hate herself later for doing it. With my guy friends it would be easy. Something like... "Damn dude! I can hear you getting fatter." So is it possible to tell a woman that she might be making herself fat without setting off a nuclear estrogen bomb?

For the those of you (women) who are thinking that I'm a superficial pig (typical man), I would like you to know I still find L as sexy as ever and don't consider her fat by any stretch of the imagination.

Goal Post 2

2007-08-04T05:55:00.000-04:00

In my quest to become a more motivated individual, I must say that this goal post thing seems to be working. (For the most part anyway.) I'm happy to report that I accomplished four of my five goals for last month.

I fixed that toilet that Jay was bugging me about. Thanks for the motivation bro, I needed it.

Now I can officially call my bus "done." Complete with new, paint, interior panels (made from vinyl table cloths batting and plywood), a CD player (with speakers and everything), and a cup holder so I won't get shot the next time I get pulled over.

My garage is clean. I can walk from point to point with out dodging tools, trash and other crap that I tend to leave around when working out there.

Earlier this month I updated the links to other bloggers on the side of this page.

My one failure this month was in the vacuuming department. Despite my vow to do it once per week, I only managed to do it once for the entire month.

So here are my August goals.

1. Vacuum my house at least once per week. I vow this will be the last time this finds its way into my goal post. I just have to nip this in the bud.

2. Post a "Question of the week" at least once per week. So look out for it and call me out if I fail.

3. Rehang the front door on the house so it will close properly. Currently I can only get it to stay shut with the dead bolt.

4. Locate a suitable vehicle to replace L's current ride which is showing signs of imminent death. This requires interaction with car salesmen and, personally, I'd rather pull my teeth out with pliers than deal with these vultures.

5. I'm trying to become more involved with the local VW club. Currently we meet at the local Sonic once per month. All of the members in local VW community seem to agree that there needs to be a decent show in the Atlanta area so I've charged myself with scouting potential locations for a full blown VW extravaganza to be hosted by our local club.

6. Read one of the two books dad gave me a couple months ago. I just had to put an easy goal in here so I can feel like I got something done when I give my progress report next month.

7. This is going to be the hardest one. I will go to the gym at least three times a week for this entire month.

Please feel free to wish me luck or give me a ration of shit. After all, that's what the comment button is for.

National Air and Space Museum

2007-07-31T12:34:00.000-04:00

This last weekend I was up in DC to visit the NASM. I went with dad and my brother D who flew in from Seattle and drove up with us. We had a great time and I took over 160 pictures.

This is the entrance to the larger of the two museums. It houses a large collection of aircraft, many of which are the only ones left in existence. This is the "Enola Gay" it's the actual plane that dropped the first atomic bomb. It is completely restored. We went on a guided tour and I was surprised that most of the planes in the museum are actually flyable. Just add gas and the things should fire right up. I have mixed feelings about this plane. On the one hand, it ended WWII. On the other, it marked the the beginning of a world of fear.
This little Grumman "Gulfhawk" was the predecessor to one of the first operational carrier fighter fighters in WWII, the Grumman "Wildcat". As a matter of fact, It's virtually identical to its carrier brethren but has two wings (aka biplane).
Here we have one of my favorite pics from the trip. Two legends of flight. In the foreground is "Spirit of St. Louis" The first plane to cross the Atlantic on a solo mission with Charles Lindbergh at the controls. In the background is "SpaceShipOne". It is the first privately operated manned spacecraft to ever leave earth and return. Twice.

What do Mosquitoes and cops have in common?

2007-07-22T00:09:00.000-04:00

They both like to single me out for no apparent reason.

Whether it's a police officer or a mosquito I will be the one they single out in a crowd. Could it be that I give off some enticing smell that attracts blood sucking parasites?

I have a minor allergy to Mosquitoes. When Mosquitoes bite me, they leave welts that get to be about the size of a quarter. One of my basic garage supplies is a couple cans of "Off" insect repellent. I try to remember to put it on all the time, but sometimes I forget or it wears off from sweat. When that happens, I come in from outside looking like a peperoni pizza. It's pretty freaky really. Honestly, I could be standing in a crowd of a million people and the only mosquito around for a hundred miles will ignore everyone else and find me. I kid you not. But this post really isn't about mosquitoes. It's about cops.

Tonight I was on my way to work, sipping my fresh Starbucks Venti Mocha and listening to tunes from my newly installed CD player in my 40 year old VW. (Yes the interior is done people.) I was at the front of a pack of cars as they were all passing me on the rural four lane Georgia highway. This is nothing new. My bus likes to cruise at 55mph and I get passed a lot. All that is in my head at this particular moment is how nice it would be to have a Twix bar to go with my mocha flavored coffee. As I'm internally planning my stop at the local quickie-mart next to my place of employment, I see a familiar sight in my mirror. It's the (all too familiar) headlight pattern of a Ford Crown Victoria. I only see the pattern for a second before it gets so close that the glare dips below my rear window. I subconsciously shake my head as I come to the realization that a cop is shoving his cruiser up the ass of my newly restored bus. For a brief second I consider slamming on the brakes but my engine and fuel tank are in the rear and mental pictures of burning alive are not pleasant. I drive for a short distance and hit my blinker as my turn for work approaches. No sooner did my signal blink than his blue lights came on. "Asshole!" comes out of my mouth as I pull over. No Twix for me now. After I come to a stop, I kill the engine and switch my head lights off leaving the parking lights on. I wait patiently about two blocks from work as he does whatever they do before they decide that they're actually going to get out of the car.

When He finally arrives at my door I get the same retarded question that I always get. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Why the hell do they always ask this damn question? Do they really expect an honest answer?

"Nope," I answer.

He says, "One of your headlights is out."

I know for a fact that both my headlights work perfect so I come back with, "Really? Which one?" and flick my headlights back on. He looks at the front of my bus and the corners of his mouth turn down ever so slightly as he sees that both lights are, in fact, working fine. "Are you sure you don't have a short up there somewhere?" he asks.

I reply with, "No, they work perfect. The right one could be adjusted a little better but they work great and I've never had a problem with them."

"Can I see your license please?"

"Sure thing, but I need to set my coffee down so I can dig it out." I tell him. I always do stuff like this when I'm dealing with police because I don't want to get shot for putting my coffee on the floor while I dig out my license. Leaning over or digging low will always make a cop jumpy. After setting the java down, I unbuckle my belt and dig out my wallet. He takes my ID back to his car and, as he does so, I wonder if he's going to give me a ticket. While he's back there masturbating or doing whatever it is they do, I pull out my phone and call the work to tell the guy waiting on me to show up that I could be late because of the blue light special behind me. Finally, officer friendly comes back with a warning slip and I get to go on my way to work.

So what have I gained from all this?

First, "The Man" will always harass me. I've been pulled over in just about every single car I've ever owned since high school and I've rarely been doing anything wrong. When I was in the wrong, I always knew the answer to the retarded "Do you know why I pulled you over?" question. Ninety percent of the time it was just to harass me. Those of you that have been reading this blog for a while will remember I almost went to jail the last time I got pulled over. I fear that I will eventually get arrested because I'm getting to the point where I'm just going to go off on the next dickhead that decides to fuck with me.

Second, I need to install a cup holder in my bus.

Sometimes I miss myself.

2007-07-15T00:48:00.000-04:00

I got to thinking the other day (surprisingly enough, no smoke came out of my ears or anything) I'm not the person I used to be. It's hard to explain. It has mostly to do with being in a long term committed relationship with someone. Whenever you combine lives with another person whether it be a roommate or a loved one, there is always some part of you that you give up or sacrifice to be with that individual. It could be something as simple as going to the bathroom with the door open or as complex as attempting to change a personality flaw because you love them and want to make them happy. Who would've thought Newton's third law of motion applies to marriage too?

Although I don't feel much different than I did twelve years ago when I met L, I most certainly have changed. Every once in a while I wonder who I would be if I was on my own. Would I be the person I once was or would I be someone I haven't met yet? I would have to guess that it would be the latter because you can't spend that much of your life with someone and expect them not to have impacted you dramatically. Sometimes I wish I could take a brake from my current life and try to go it on my own for a while because I think I miss who I used to be. I believe that I was a more social person at some point whereas I'm more of a homebody now. I'm thinking I need some serious Glenn time. I want to go on a short journey (maybe a few days or even a week) on my own and see who shows up. It would have to be a complete loner thing. No one I really know. No friends. No relatives. Just me. Who would show up? Will it be the Glenn we currently know and love or...someone else? It's a fascinating prospect.

2007-07-07T23:31:00.000-04:00

Damn blogger won't let me use the title line this week.

For those of you who are just dieing to know how far I got on my list. (I'm just sure you've been holding your breath.) You should know that I've accomplished a grand total of ZERO of the goals I gave myself last week. It's a good thing that I'm making this a monthly thing. I still have time to get my arse in gear. If things go the way of my track record, then it'll all get done seven minutes before the deadline. I did already fail one of my goals. I didn't vacuum last week. In my defense, it was a Holiday week and I did have a bunch of stuff on my plate aside from those on the Goal Post. No excuses though. I could have "made" some time.

Anyway good luck on 07-07-07.

Goal Post.

2007-07-01T03:35:00.000-04:00

I've decided that I need to set goals for myself. All I'm probably doing is setting myself up for failure, but I feel the need to start doing this. It seems that my life is, more or less, in a holding pattern right now and there is a need to break out. Maybe I need to start making lists. I've tried this before and it didn't seem to work. I just ended up with little pieces of paper with unaccomplished tasks laying around everywhere. Most of the time it just made me feel like shit. However, in the last year or so, I've managed to make large strides in the battle against my lazy DNA. But it feels like I've only scratched the surface. So I got to thinking...What would make me get more done? Lists seem like the answer. This time I'm not going to write them on paper though. I'm going to write them here and use you (my faithful 2.5 or so) readers to give me shit and keep me on the ball. So hereto and forthwith I declare my first post of every month my "Goal Post." It will be your job as my personal naggers to give me rations of shit every month for not accomplishing my goals. Then maybe (out of shame) I might get more done.

So here is my first list of things that I vow to have D. O. N. E. by my next goal post.

1. The toilet fill that I have yet to fix. I've had the part to repair it for almost two months. (I'm sure I've paid for enough water to buy two more of these little units.)

2. The interior of my VW bus will be completed. (providing I can get the materials I need)

3. I can barely walk in my garage and it's time for me to do some serious spring cleaning.

4. I will vacuum my house at least once per week instead of once per month.

5. The links on the side of my page here need to be updated. Blog maintenance is in order.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Dude! That's not much of a list." but I assure you that it is. The interior of my van represents at least four full days worth of work and the mess I've made out of my garage is going to take another two. And if you take into consideration that I have to go out of town for a week at the end of the month, it leaves me very little time to goof off. So polish up your biting reprimands because this blog just got a little more interactive.

The bug that just keeps biting.

2007-06-24T01:31:00.000-04:00

This last weekend I went on a little trip with a friend who has a 1/4 share in a plane. We flew on a pretty long cross country flight (for a small plane) from Atlanta to Mobile. I sat in the right seat and helped him navigate and work the radios. I even got some stick time at the controls. This was the first time I've been at the yoke of a plane in quite some time. Almost five years as a matter of fact. The trip didn't go so well. We had problems with weather, headwinds both ways, and on the way home we were aloft for a whole ten minutes before we had to land at an airport in the middle of nowhere because of a faulty gauge. It would've been cheaper and faster to drive.

The whole trip pretty much freaked L out. I took me some time to build her confidence in my flying skills when I was training back in the day. She has a minor issue with heights. It had been so long since we had been up in a small plane together that she was white knuckled for a good portion of the trip. Especially when we had the mechanical problem. It took some coaxing to get her to hop back into the plane after a mechanic looked at it and determined that all was OK. After we landed back in Georgia, she said that she would never get into a small plane again. This was a blow to me. I love flying and I'll never be able to give it up as long as I'm able to do it. I want her to be able to enjoy trips in aircraft as much as me. And while I know she'll never love it as much as I, it doesn't do me much good to be buzzing around the sky if I can't take my favorite passenger with me. Driving home from the airport, I explained how I would have done many things different if I was the one in charge of the plane. I quelled many of her concerns about the safety of small planes and also made here realize that, at no point, would I have let the guy we went with do anything that would've jeopardized our safety. As a matter of fact, I did exercise my will and prevent him from taking off in marginal weather. By the time we got home she was breathing easy again and told me that I always make her feel safe.

Disaster averted.

Despite the trips many problems, I've been hit (hard) by the flying bug again. I've actually been avoiding exercising my pilot privileges for the past few years intentionally. This is because it's an expensive lifestyle and our financial situation demanded that I avoid it. Now that we're getting back on top of things, I find that my eyes turn skyward more and more. Our little trip has spiked my need-to-fly-ometer. I've been doing a lot of research on aircraft that are within my financial grasp. I even talked a the lady at our credit union about financing options for one of these. Ultimately, I've decided to wait until I can afford to build my own plane which involves buying this kit outright. In the mean time, I'm going to gradually get my skills built back up through rental. It's high time I became a plane geek again and L has given me the green light to do so.

I do love that woman. Without her support I never would've earned my license. The thought of flying without her makes it lose some of it's luster. I'm lucky she's willing to give it another shot.

Confession.

2007-06-23T06:52:00.000-04:00

I'm gay.

So I'm rummaging through ebay looking for some fabric for the interior panels of my bus. As I'm clicking away and searching for that perfect pattern or color it hits me. I'm actually enjoying shopping for fabric. No self respecting hetero male would ever admit to doing this sort of thing, let alone enjoying it. Then it got me to thinking. What else do I do that's not typical male behavior?

I...
go shopping for clothes with my wife.
have a good eye for color.
rarely watch sports.
can cook.
have seen (and enjoyed) two seasons of Project Runway.
love to listen to Elton John.
am not afraid to hug another man.

Hmmm...I'm guessing that this is what it feels like to be "In the closet." With the exception that I find men physically repulsive that is.

Honestly ladies, I don't understand why you're all not lesbians. Men are just nasty.

Answers of the week.

2007-06-14T21:10:00.000-04:00

Jane asks...
Have you and "Ms. Glenn" given any more consideration to having a baby? I think you should post a picture of yourself on your blog!

Ahhh the baby question. I guess I kinda left that one wide open the last time I talked about it. Well Jane, L and I talk about the baby issue at least once per week. We're officially still on the fence about the whole thing. We can't commit to having one and we can't say that we're definitely not going to. It's not that I never wanted one, on the contrary, I think I would be a great dad (better than my father and my stepfather.) The problem is all the intangibles. A big part of the issue for me is that many of the kids from my side of the family (all were great and wholesome at one point) got completely screwed up along the way. They're all still good people down deep but it's been mostly outside influence (that which parents have little control over) that FUBARed them. So we still consider it but something is keeping us from pulling the trigger.

I posted a picture of myself here a couple weeks ago. I don't see any pics of you on your blog.

Kel asks...
It's not self-absorbed to ask what your readers would like to read about. I was going to ask if your wife knows about your blog...I guess it would be interesting to know more about your relationship.

No she doesn't Kel. I haven't told her because this is my outlet. I'd rather not edit myself thinking that she's reading it. I'm sure that someday she will find out about it and it scares me a little. I love her but there are some things that you want to say that you would never tell your spouse. I can't think of anything off hand but you've seen the movies where the woman asks the man. "Does this make me look fat?" True or not, there is only one answer to that question. this is my outlet to just blurt out things the pop into my head.

Anything specific you would find interesting to know about my relationship with L?

Your mommy can't help you.

2007-06-09T05:49:00.001-04:00

I'm not normally into the whole celeb worship thing. Maybe it's because I grew up in LA or maybe it's because I know that 99% of them are completely out of touch with reality (kinda like politicians). I normally couldn't care less what the hell a celeb had for lunch or who is dating who but it tickles me to death that Paris went back to jail. The spoiled little bitch needs to stew in her own juices for a while.

This weeks question.

2007-06-07T19:10:00.000-04:00

Is there anything you would like to know about me or get further into?

Yea I know it's a pathetic self absorbed question of the week but I keep forgetting what the hell I was going to write about when finally get around to the blog.

They say the first thing to go is your memory...I can't remember what the second thing was.

The little voice in my head.

2007-06-03T01:41:00.000-04:00

Him:
Hello Glenn. I'm the little voice in your head. You know me. I'm the one who tells you that you're about to do something stupid or berates you for not fixing the toilet and makes you feel guilty for being lazy in general.

Me:
Um, why do you only speak up when I can't do the things you make me feel guilty about?

Him:
Well, it's pretty simple really. You have to be really quiet to hear me.

Me:
How quiet? I don't seem to be having any trouble hearing you now.

Him:
Well you can't hear me over the TV, when you're talking to other people, or distracted in general.

Me:
So basically I can only hear you when I'm perfectly still?

Him:
Yep.

Me:
Do you have any idea how much of a pain in the ass you are?

Him:
What do you mean? I help you get things done. I keep you out of trouble.

Me:
Yea that might work if I could hear your bullshit when I really needed it. Not when I'm at work or laying in bed at three AM. Do me a favor will ya? Either speak up when I need you or shut the fuck up all together.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

2007-06-02T06:45:00.000-04:00

Can't you just hear the screeching "waa-a-waa-a-waa" from the movie as Clint stares down Lee Van Cleef? That's not really what this post is about but every time I think of that movie I hear that little blurb in my head.

A quick little reflection of where I stand in my life.

The Good:

I've made good strides in my battle against my lazy DNA. I have a car I built as proof.
I just crossed a huge milestone in my marriage and I can say that another ten years seems quite doable.
I'm enjoying where I live more and more every day.
I'm making more local friends and maintaining the relationships I have better than I used to.

The Bad:

I don't like my job yet I seem to be just content enough to live with it.
My sleep (as a result of my job) affects my entire life outside work. This can't be healthy.
Speaking of health, I need to quit smoking...again.
Although I've progressed some in being more motivated, there is still room for improvement. I still haven't managed to fix the running toilet in my master bath and I bought the part about two weeks ago.

The Ugly:

I need to make more of an effort on keeping myself up.
Time to dust off my Gym membership because I'm getting too soft.
Go to the doctor/dentist.
Shave more than once per week.
Get my hair cut more often.
Maintain my "manscaping" better. Stuff like trim goatee, toenails, and other...areas... that need attention.
All of "The Ugly" things are simple and can also be those things that make you less desirable to your mate if you let it go too long/often.

Georgia The Beautiful.

2007-05-29T09:52:00.000-04:00

I'm lucky to have lived in many places growing up. I wasn't a military brat or anything but my mom was something of a nomad. I was born in Nevada and raised in Michigan, Indiana, California, and Florida. I have always loved the natural beauty of the west. Big sky, beautiful mountains, and deserts have a special place in my heart. It's just...me.

I've been living in Georgia for about four years now and I'm starting to realise why Ray Charles sang a song about it. The natural beauty of this state in incredible and, of all the places I've lived, it's my favorite next to the southwest. If I could just get the extreme rednecks to go away and move the beach a little closer, it would be perfect.

After L and I got back from PA, we drove about fifteen miles from our house to visit a local state park. To say it was beautiful is an understatement.

This little river is about a mile from my house I found this spot when I made a wrong turn.

QOTW.

2007-05-24T21:08:00.000-04:00

Trying to get back into the swing of the blog.

This weeks question.

Does anyone else HATE the smell of energy drinks as much as I do?

Milestone.

2007-05-24T20:00:00.001-04:00

As of three o'clock today another year has ticked off my marital clock. Today was the day I married L. Ten years ago. It was a beautiful spring day and everything was perfect. (OK the cake was missing a layer but no one noticed but myself and L.) It was the best wedding I've ever attended and I'm not just saying that because it was mine.

At any rate, we've reached the ten year mark and I still love her. We're both working today so there was no celebration. I sent ten roses to her work this afternoon and yesterday we had a fabulous dinner at an Italian restaurant. It's funny. We've been together nearly a third of my entire life and it simply doesn't seem that long to me until I think about it. We're now in the double digits. It doesn't seem like an accomplishment until I realize that there is a word that describes it.

Decade.

Frigging awesome!

It's nice to know.

2007-05-14T01:07:00.000-04:00

One benefit of being a man that is spoken for is that you can easily recognise when some women are flirting with you or find you attractive. In my younger single days, I often would try to pick up a woman and, many times, would not be able to tell if she was truly interested in me or just humoring me in an effort to be nice. When you're a single guy, you tend to think of every attractive girl as a potential target (for lack of a better word). Many times I forced myself onto women that weren't initially interested in the effort to make a connection. Sometimes it worked but, more often than not, I was rejected. It was the nature of the game. The mentality of a single man trying to pick up women in a social environment clouds his judgement. Many times men don't pick up on those subtle cues that women make because they're blinded by lust, desperation, loneliness, ego or whatever. Maybe it's because I'm not on the prowl anymore or it could be that I get sex regularly enough that I'm more clear headed than I was in my younger days, but I find it much easier to pick up on a woman's interest level now.

What's the point of this rambling you ask?

I am (or was) an attractive man at one point in my life. Not the chiseled tall dark and handsome type of dude but you could say above average. I've been told that I share a resemblance with a young Jack Nicholson or Christian Slater. Often women would hit on me when I was younger. As I get older and I lose more and more hair and what's left turns gray I can't help but ask myself "Am I still attractive?" I've been out of the game for so long that I wasn't really sure because it's been a long time since a woman hit on me. That was until this last couple weeks.

Through no fault of my own and making no effort whatsoever, three women have come on to me recently. The first was a waitress in Kill Devil Hills. L and I walked into a restaurant and she went to the restroom while I got us a table. The waitress was extremely flirty with me when she sat me at the table. I can't remember what she said but it was an obvious come on. The second was at the casino in Atlantic City. As I went down the escalator a group of women came up the other direction. The lead woman said "Hey sexy! You're going the wrong way. I'll be waiting at the top." OK so she was probably drunk off of the free alcohol but she still came on to me. I had no witty comment to come back with so I just smiled at her and her friends and could feel my cheeks turn red as we passed on opposite moving escalators. The third woman who made a pass at me was playing poker at the same table in a local bar this past Wednesday. She sat right next to me at the table and steadily made comments to me that had double meanings and seemed to ignore everyone else at the table. During a ten minute break, she followed me outside to the deck where I introduced her to my wife who was playing at a different table. After that, she stopped talking to me. I never made any first moves on any of these women and was wearing my ring in all three instances.

I would never cheat on L. It's just nice to know (or at least pretend) that women I've never met still find me attractive. Every once in a while my old ego needs a boost make me feel good again.

Did ya miss me?

2007-05-12T07:04:00.000-04:00

I can describe the trip in one word. Fantastic!

The drive was great. I plan on making most of my trips in the future nice and leisurely. All of the other trips we've taken have been about the destination and the road was just a place that you tolerated while you were in transit. This time we weren't on a tight schedule and didn't have to be anywhere (accept the wedding) at any particular time.

Kitty Hawk and the outer banks was incredible! We arrived on the evening of out first day and everything was perfect. We found a beautiful Ramada to stay at and had a fabulous dinner at a crab shack. After dinner we sat on the balcony of our beach front room and drank beer while we looked at the stars and listened to the waves lap upon the beach. After some fantastic nookie, we slept the night away with the door to the balcony open. The next morning we were awakened by seagulls and warm morning light filtering into the room. We walked down to the beach and L collected seashells while I chilled in a hotel lounge chair and snapped pictures of her and sea grass and dolphins swimming by. We checked out and found a great breakfast spot where we overindulged in French toast and eggs. Everything went so smooth. It was like it was scripted.

Driving up the eastern coast was great. We saw a bunch of little towns and interesting scenery that you don't get while screaming down the interstate at 80 miles an hour. We crossed huge bays over bridges and tunnels and rode the Cape May/Lewes fairy from Delaware to New Jersey. The weather was perfect.

We arrived in Atlantic City a day ahead of schedule because L was chomping at the bit to plunk some money in some slots and play some roulette. Of all the places I've been to gamble (Las Vegas, Tunica, Biloxi and a few others) Atlantic City was the worst. First of all, for those that have never been, the place is a friggin shit hole. Aside from the Casinos, the town itself is filthy and run down. The locals are really stupid about jay-walking in front of moving automobiles. I had to practically activate the ABS in the rental to keep from hitting no less than three locals. Several times we were approached while at a stop light and begged for money. In the breezeway (inside a casino mind you) there were two homeless people sleeping on the window ledges. The parking garage of the Taj Mahal smelled like a sewer. We lost all our gambling money but despite being disappointed, we still had a great time. It's kinda like pizza or sex. Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.

The wedding was cool. The ceremony was short and not overly religious which makes L and I feel uncomfortable because we're not really on board with that sort of thing. We were invited to the rehearsal dinner and enjoyed the company of her cousin's new in laws. It was a buffet style dinner and we, unwittingly, sat with the brides parents. I made it half way through my meal, trying to be charming, before I realized who I was bantering with. I hope I didn't offend anyone because I have no idea what I was small talking about between bites of delicious ham. The wedding itself was not a formal engagement. The groom and his posse wore Dockers with button down knit shirts. The bride wore a wedding dress with no shoes and her maids were in natural looking mint green dresses. It was kind of cute being that the two getting together are serious nature buffs. They're the kind of people that enjoy campfires and hiking in the mountains more than TV and Starbucks.

Trip home was cool. Once again, we took our time and stopped where and when we wanted. L is a yard sale freak and loves to stop and see what's available. Since we drove through PA there were a bunch of Amish stores and other things to investigate. Our route took us through several cool places like Gettysburg. We stopped in Virginia and attended an Apple Blossom festival where we ate crab cakes and took in the sites. We slept in a hotel that evening and drove the rest of the way home the next day with detours to an Indian casino (she begged me and I couldn't refuse) and a state park in Georgia.

One of the best things about the trip was that we got home on Monday and neither of us had to be back to work until Thursday. There was plenty of time to decompress, pet our kitties and do laundry. It was a great week.

Surf, poker, cheese steak and a wedding.

2007-04-29T01:56:00.000-04:00

Elwood: "We have a full tank of gas, a half pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses."

Jake: "Hit it!"

L and I are rolling on another road trip on Monday. I know you're thinking..."Didn't he just get back from Florida?" Yea but that was a quick in-n-out for my annual airplane orgy and took place over my standard three day weekend. This trip is a full blown vacation we're talking about. L and I have the entire week off. The purpose of the trip is to see her cousin get married in Philly but we're using that as an excuse to head over to the outer banks of NC for some much needed sand and surf. OK so Kitty Hawk is there but it's just a coincidence. Scouts Honor! After that we're headed up north to fabulous Atlantic City for a couple days of gratuitous gambling where I hope to play in at least six poker tournaments. With tons of winnings in our pockets, we're going to Philadelphia to sample cheese steaks at Pat's. I loves me some cheese steak sandwiches and the original just has to be good. I wanted to take the Jolly Rancher but L wasn't too keen on spending forty hours of road time in a loud VW so we're renting a car. It's gonna be awesome!

Be blogging again in a week or so.

It was sunny and it was fun. V

2007-04-23T11:10:00.000-04:00

The guy flying this WWII Stearman trainer is John Mohr. He is far and away the best pilot I've ever witnessed. Most airshow planes are specially designed for the type of flying that they do. They are modified with bigger horsepower engines and inverted fuel and oil systems that allow them to fly upside down. This plane isn't. If it stays inverted for too long the engine will quit. John is the master of this thing and no one can make it do what he can. His show might not be all that impressive to the casual observer, but to pilots, he's as good as they come.

It was sunny and it was fun. IV

2007-04-23T10:50:00.000-04:00

Some of you might remember the P51s Crazyhorse and Crazyhorse2 form the pics I posted last year. They did some formation aerobatics this year and these dudes fly CLOSE! They're insane! Dude, watch out!

Note the blip on top of the plane. Yea, that's a chick standing up there.
Hang on girlfriend!
This is a Cirrus that the idiot put in the only ditch for miles. He wasn't landing or taking off, just driving to his parking spot. It's always been my assertion that the pilots that fly these planes are the biggest idiots in the sky. This knucklehead just reaffirms my theory.

It was sunny and it was fun. III

2007-04-23T10:35:00.000-04:00

Want a boat, camper, and the plane? This Grumman will fit all those slots quite nicely. If I had $400K sitting in the bank I'd sure as hell own one. (Note dude in orange shirt. That would be Geek SR checking out the interior.)
This year I was finally able to get pics of the airshow thanks to a higher quality camera that would actually capture motion. This is a big friggin flag man!
DC-3 doing a low pass with the right engine off. This plaine is based a few miles from where I live.
The Aeroshell Aerobatic team. These guys are good.
I can't remember this guys name but he's always impressive flying this Decathalon.

It was sunny and it was fun. II

2007-04-23T10:25:00.000-04:00

Since I'm planning on building my own plane one day, I always like to take shots of those paint schemes that are really wild of that look nice. These planes here are all RVs. They are the most popular kit plane on the market and they are always plentiful at the fly ins.
This one reminded me of the Jolly Rancher.
I thought this RV-8 was tasteful. I really like the cranberry red on planes. And the skull on the tail is sweet too.
Is this RV-6 purple enough for ya?
Umm....wow!

It was sunny and it was fun.

2007-04-23T10:10:00.000-04:00

Cool old Waco Biplane.
I forget what kind of plane this is, but it was an ancient survivor. This is a line of old Cessna 195s. They're sweet old planes and I wouldn't mind owning one.
So you always wanted to know what I look like? Here's a self portrait in the spinner of one of those 195s. (Damn I'm getting fat!)
This is an RV-8 home built with a wild paint job. I originally wanted to build one of these for myself but it's a little out of my price range.

The Senior Geek

2007-04-19T20:57:00.000-04:00

I just spent the better part of this week with my father down in Lakeland, FL at Sun-N-Fun. I had a great time in my element. I spent several days walking around salivating at thousands of planes and seeing some of the best airshow performers on earth and I'm going to get to posting some cool pics here when I can.

My dad is a great guy. As I grew up, I idolized the man that used to pick me up every summer and take me to his house for a few weeks. Unlike my step father, dad is laid back. He rarely gets upset about anything. He gave us (my brother and I) plenty of attention when we visited and played games with us. He read us stories and taught me how to swim in his above ground pool in Vegas. An Aircraft mechanic by trade, he used to take us out to the end of the runway in his VW bus and we would sit with the doors propped open and watch airplanes land for hours. He would explain to me what all the control surfaces would do and point out things that your casual observer wouldn't recognize. In many ways, he was like a big kid. He had a room full of remote controlled airplanes. He liked hard candy. He would call people "knuckleheads" in traffic instead of the obscenities that my step father would spit out. As a child, there was a little part of me that hated my mom for divorcing the nice man that bought me Hot Wheels and never once hit me. (Unlike my, sometimes violent, step dad would.) Dad was the greatest man I knew growing up.

Since I've moved to Georgia, I've got to know my father better and I can see why my mother left him. For all his great traits, he has just as many flaws. He's lazy. Or more accurately, he's not motivated. Dad has been retired since 2001 and has accomplished...nothing other then reading airplane books. He is a creature of habit and never goes out of his way for anything. He has several (5 or 6) model airplanes in various stages of construction. He has threatened to take a cross country trip to see all the airplane museums he has always wanted to see and hasn't even made a plan of attack. Dad's laid back personality is also a flaw. He will eat a meal he didn't order at a restaurant so he doesn't upset the waiter and then tip them anyway. I have never heard him say "I love you" or "I hate you" to anyone. His personality is almost one dimensional. Airplanes is about all he talks about. He rarely reaches out to his family. He never calls except on the occasional birthday he remembers. His brother may or may not be still alive. He hasn't talked to him in over fifteen years.

My dad is creeping up in years. He's currently 71 and still going strong. We spent two days running around an airshow which is like spending two days at an amusement park and he never needed a break to sit down or complained about aches and pains. My only concern for him, as he gets older, is that his driving is getting questionable. He drives well but I noticed myself hitting an imaginary brake pedal far too many times on our trip. I jokingly gave him a hard time about it.

I love my dad and it's scary how much he and I are alike despite me being raised by a different man. It's almost spooky to be honest. I look at him and I see myself. He is an amplification of my own yin and yang. About the only thing that I can see different in our personalities it the healthy dose of emotion that I got from mom. Dad helps me realize that, even at thirty four years old, I'm a work in progress and I need to keep pushing myself to become a better person. And all I've had to do to gain all this insight is hang out with him.

In '08

2007-04-13T17:50:00.000-04:00

I was having a conversation in the break room today and I heard the news speculators on the TV saying that so-and-so won't win the '08 election because they haven't raised enough money yet. How fucking sad is that? Why don't they just start for 2012 while their at it?

The sky is falling.

2007-04-07T05:40:00.001-04:00

There's an asteroid headed towards earth. You are one of a very few who know it's coming and you only have time to to visit one retail establishment before it hits.

Question of the week.

Where do you go?

Long live the Jolly Rancher!

2007-04-05T16:56:00.000-04:00

Can someone explain this to me?

2007-03-31T06:31:00.000-04:00

Question of the week.

Why are there people of different "races?" White, Asian, Black, Hispanic...aren't we all Humans? Somewhere we all came from the same glop of goo that ties us all together. What the hell happened?

Language barrier.

2007-03-30T11:44:00.000-04:00

One of the hardest parts of living in the south when you grew up out west is the version of English they speak down here. I was standing outside the office this morning and there was a crew of guys putting up a new awning across the walkway. I was eavesdropping on a conversation they were having about...something...but, for the life of me, I could only understand about every other word. There's something funny about the way people speak that can give you the impression as to their intelligence level. Many people think the southern dialect is "cute." I think it makes you sound like an idiot. The sad thing is I tend to assimilate to my surroundings. When I lived in LA growing up, my mom used to give me a bunch of crap about speaking with a Mexican accent. I started that because my best friend was Hispanic at the time. My brother (who lives in Seattle) has told me that I've now picked up a southern accent. I can't deny it because I let a "y'all" slide out every once in a while. So by my own definition, I sound like an idiot. I draw the line at "fixin" though. If that starts to pop out of my mouth on a regular basis, I'm fixin to have to move back out where there are mountains and deserts.

Don't ever try to explain to a redneck that you aren't "Yankee" if you were born in Nevada. It's a complete waste of time.

Got the fever. Part deux.

2007-03-24T23:40:00.000-04:00

It's getting close to Sun-N-Fun again. The plane geek always comes back to life with the flowers of spring. It says in my profile that I'm a pilot. Well I am but, to be honest, I haven't flown a plane in about five years. I feel terribly guilty for not exercising my privileges for so long. I miss it more and more every day. Now that L and I are back in black, it's time to dust off the old pilot skills again. Lately I've spent more and more time dreaming about buying or building a plane. Many hours have been spent searching the classified ads for that perfect aircraft as well as looking up at every plane that flies overhead. If there was any money in it, I would become a full time flight instructor. I think I would enjoy it more than any other career I could think of. I'm pretty sure I would be a great teacher and my laid back personality lends itself well to dealing with really nervous students. I think I'm going to start building time and ratings so that I can become an instructor at least part time. Anyone have a plane I can borrow?

Got the fever.

2007-03-17T22:46:00.000-04:00

Spring is in the air. Georgia is truly a beautiful state. My home in the woods is wondrous and now that spring is upon us, I get to enjoy my covered seven foot wide porches on the front and rear of my home. I love to sit out in the mornings and listen to the trees grow and feel the breeze as it starts to stir with the warming sun. In the spring, as the foliage starts to breath new life, the smells come back to my nose that seemed to be on pause for the winter. Fresh cut grass, magnolia blossoms, and ozone just before a spring thunderstorm come to mind. Sitting on the back deck and looking over my railing I can start to see the green poking up though the old dead leaves of winter on the wooded landscape. I look to my left and see the neighbors house through the leafless trees and say a silent goodbye to the gray-blue siding. As the buds come back and eventually get replaced by the fresh lime colored leaves the house will disappear from view. Many times, before I know it, I'm cocooned in my summer rain forest again and my only visitors are silent fireflies floating in the early evening. Now I've learned to pay close attention to the rebirth so I don't miss it.

It's crazy how I have to put time aside to slow down. I get so caught up in my day to day life that I rarely stop to just breathe and be silent. My porch is a great place for reflection and I plan on enjoying the longer summer days on it this year. Just looking and inhaling deeply though my nose. It takes some tension out of my shoulders just thinking about it.

Humor.

2007-03-10T08:27:00.001-05:00

Question of the week.

Have you ever tried to use humor on your blog or otherwise written and it completely backfired on you? Or did you write something you thought was hilarious and no one seemed to get it?

Blogification.

2007-03-10T06:22:00.000-05:00

There is exactly one of you who read this regularly who, I'm sure, knows my full identity. The rest of you are about three clicks away from finding out.

I just wanted to let you know that you are a privileged few who see my ramblings. I have told no one I've met about this page. No I'm not trying to pump up my ego and tell you that I'm a special person, but you few are privy to stuff that even my wife, who I've known for over a decade, has yet to see. And that makes you special. (Forgive this for sounding like a Mr. Rogers episode.)

I often think about what motivates a lazy bastard, who never kept a journal in his life, to keep coming back to this blog. It's the connection. This blog thing connects us in some strange cosmic fashion. It amazes me that we are all separated by great distances, social situations, age groups, and overall lifestyles but seem to connect in some way. What really blows my mind is that many of you, who's blogs I visit regularly, are people that I would usually never get to know or would never have the opportunity to meet. One of the things that I find personally appealing to all the blogs I've read is that it reaffirms my belief that 99% of the people on this planet are good people.

What's the point to this post you ask? Well earlier this year I made a resolution of sorts that I would make an individual post about all the people who I link to on the right and explain why I find them intriguing. Here I am in March and I've only managed to get to a couple of you. It's not that some are more important than others, it's just that I'm a lazy bastard and this blog is kind of a free flow of diarrhea from my cranium. So today I've decided to hit on each link to the right and give a little blurb in case I never get to doing an individual post for each which I might still do but no promises because I'm obviously bad with that.

Here we go.

Shoottheduck: Great blog
I already hit on le duck here.

VagaBob: My semi-daily shot of Zen
And Bob here.

Ms. Me: Caregiver of family and strangers alike
Jane. You fascinate me with your kindness and giving nature. You always surprise me with your outlook on things. You recent lottery post says it all.

Procrastination Station: Fun
Ben's site is always a fun read. You can tell he has a sharp wit and the fact that his site is mostly contributory makes it always interesting.

Dating: It's a Numbers Game
Congrats to you for your recent engagement. Your ability to lay it all on the line and truly free flow ideas in a no holds barred fashion is amazing. you're truly eloquent when it comes to describing your feelings, fears, and dreams. (note to self change to 1 in a million)

Nice Guys Finish Last: I have faith brother
Dude, I find it fascinating to (sort of) relive my early days as a bachelor through you. It reminds me how lucky I am to have a loving wife and how long it took me to perfect my dating skills.

ZeroDoll's life: FISH's doll
FISHFOOD: Zero's hero
You can't mention one without the other here. They're like peas and carrots. The most interesting thing I find about you two is your love for each other and the fact that you're blogs intertwine. It's fun to read about the same situation from two similar, yet different, perspectives.

PJ: This girl can write.
What can I say PJ? Yours is one of the few blogs I've read from beginning to end. You've got skills with the written word. I would definitely stalk you in a different life. Even though it would never work because I like cats and PT Cruisers.

Grandpa's Snazzy Legs. He's back.
Rev. Buckweet. You're the living epitome of the duality people face every day. I can identify with the conflict you face with your family and understand and identify with many of your viewpoints. I've taken many of the things you've put down to heart and included a semi- quote from you're website into my daily routine.

Cloudy Lucidity
To be honest, I don't know that much about you. I do know this...I stumbled onto your blog and something trapped me there and even so much as caused me to link you here.

In A Big Way
My most recent addition is Katherine. Girl! You're a RIOT. Your blog is just plain fun to visit.

There you have it. Quick and dirty. Thank you all for stopping by.

Burn out.

2007-03-08T21:03:00.000-05:00

Whew!

I've been working so hard on my bus that I feel like it's dominating my life. I still have a ton of work to do but at least I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I took it to the paint shop yesterday and the guy said he'll have it back to me in about a week. I'm stoked! I can't wait to see the finished product. There is a laundry list of things I need to do while it's away, but I feel confident that I can get them done. I'm on the home stretch and I just need to sprint those last few yards to the finish line. I cleaned out the garage today before going to work. It's amazing how big it seems when I'm not tripping over tools and auto parts on my way through. I love my hobby but it's supposed to be a hobby. Lately I feel like it's been my second job and that's just not cool. I'm starting to get burnt out and need a break. Still, with a clean workspace and progress being made, I'm feeling strangely invigorated today...or it could be the great sleep I got last night...or the early morning nookie. Either way, in a couple weeks there will be no more burn out. And with a 40 hp van I mean that quite literally.

Good times!

Survey

2007-03-03T11:23:00.000-05:00

I took a survey of all my friends one time not too long ago and found out that every one of them has (had) an uncle Bob.

Question of the week.

Do you have an uncle Bob? Seriously.
Roberts count too.

Back in Black!

2007-03-03T07:31:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time coming. The road was long, bumpy and filled with expensive forks. But, for the first time in over eight years, L and I are 100% in the black. We sent the payoff to the credit card this last week (close to 4K). We now have five monthly bills. Mortgage, electric, phone, internet, and gym.

I can't begin to describe how much of a relief it is. Like having sex after a long dry spell. Now I can buy a pair of jeans or VW parts without feeling guilty about it.

Shouldn't there be a rule?

2007-02-25T00:35:00.000-05:00

If you get elected as a D or an R, shouldn't you have to finish your term as such? These losers jumping ship in the middle of their term is just BS and just goes to prove my theory that the two party system is absolutely worthless anymore. They're all the same. Completely worthless.

News services should only be allowed to follow completely meaningless stories for an hour or two. Lord I'm tired of hearing about the Anna debacle and it's completely pointless. Just bury the girl already. The people who are following this story are the same assholes that slow down on the highway to see the accident that happened on the other side of the divider. It means nothing to them and yet they must stop and look.

Shouldn't it be that, once you reach a certain age (say 70), you should have to take a driving test every year to prove that you're safe behind the wheel?

Shouldn't we all pay the same amount of taxes? Why do I get a tax break for being lucky enough to afford my own home? And why should other people get tax relief for having 150 kids? If you can't afford a kid, you shouldn't have one in the first place.

Why is it that building a fence across the Mexican border sounds like a good idea but letting Mexican truckers come, virtually free from inspection, across onto our highways also sounds like a good idea? Shouldn't there be someone with some common sense in charge?

Why, when I hear the news on TV, do people always refer to "the American people" like we are a bunch of cows who have no clue what's going on and are incapable of making our own decisions. Shouldn't we be treated like reasonably intelligent human beings?

Why, when I hear about the polls, have I never been invited to participate in one? Shouldn't these things have to be completely random in order to have any true validity?

Question of the week.
Have you ever considered running for president of the US? What would your platform be?

I'm thinking of doing it under an election reform/flat tax platform. I wonder what's required to actually run? Do you have to buy a nomination or can you just call CNN and tell them that you're running? I need to look this stuff up. I'll be 35 before the next election so I should be eligible.

Happiness is...

2007-02-24T05:36:00.001-05:00

...Losing 3 hours of sleep by having a great conversation with your wife of almost ten years and making her laugh so hard that she passes gas in your presence.

She would kill me if she knew I wrote this but some stuff is too good to keep to yourself.

Good times.

Auto update.

2007-02-23T15:51:00.000-05:00

Here I go again. I seem to be stuck in the whole car thing again. I've been trying to get away from this but failing miserably.

OK so the bus isn't done yet. I wasted my whole three day weekend deciding if I should buy another car to get me by. I agonized and almost did it (even considered the VanGo option). After a three day deliberation I decided that I'm going to get mine done if it kills me. I have given myself two weeks to get it on the road. In the mean time, I'll be renting cars for my work week. and I just have to tell you about what I got for a rental.

When I made the reservations, all I wanted was a basic econobox. Just a motor and wheels was all I was looking for. After I arrived to pick it up, they upgraded me to a mid level sedan and it is, by far, the biggest piece of crap that I've ever driven (this thing has a PT beat hands down PJ). Everything I touch on the inside feels like it's going to break. The engine is so loud that I thought it was a diesel at first. When you hit a bump the whole thing rattles and feels like it's going to fall apart. The steering wheel is made in a plastic mold and has a ring around the outside circumference like a cheap Frisbee and it makes you feel like it's going to give you a paper cut. The automatic transmission can't decide which gear it wants to be in. It sounds like the engine is going to die when you turn the defrost on. It is truly a pathetic automobile. Oh yea, and it's brand spanking new. It had a total of seven miles on it when I picked it up. I'm certain that my forty year old rickety bus will be a vast improvement.

If someone gave me this Chrysler Sebring I would sell it for whatever I could and get a Yugo or something.

This post is for PJ.

2007-02-20T15:14:00.000-05:00

You think the bus is a DeathTrap?

Get a load of this!

Only thing worse would be a Motorcycle or (if your name is PJ) a PT Cruiser.

Crunch time.

2007-02-18T01:18:00.000-05:00

WTH people? There are at least six of you who check out my blather here on a regular basis. I can't believe that none of you talented, smart, individuals have come up with a fantabulously cool name name for my bus yet. I'm doing all the hard work restoring it and all.

So far (hitting on my lime green theme) I have...

JLYRCHR (so far my fav)
SUBLIME (seems too EZ)
EMILBUS (sublime backwards)
SLONSWR (slow-n-sour growing on me)

Tomorrow I have a promising prospect coming to look at my car. If he buys it, I'll have exactly zero complete running vehicles to drive to work next week. This weekend I'll be busting my ass to get this thing road worthy before Thursday. So that's the deadline. I have faith in my few readers. Something great will come from one of your minds. I can feel it!

Some inspiration for ya.

Bad Plaingeek

2007-02-17T06:44:00.000-05:00

Whew I've been slacking the last month or so. Sorry about that.

My job is killing me. Not the work itself but the hours. My sleep is all screwed up. I get very little sleep toward the end of the week and on the weekends and I seem to be having a problem with insomnia lately on the days where I have the time to catch up. I don't have trouble sleeping. Once I'm unconscious, I'm out for the count. I just have problems going to sleep. Many a night I lay in bed with my mind in overdrive. I stare in to the black void of my bedroom thinking about a myriad of things like VWs, the future, the past, my marriage, things I have to do, and anything else that flows through my cranium. I usually do this for about two hours before I get frustrated and roll out of the bed. The only cure, as of now, is to turn on the idiot box and watch something boring until I can't hardly keep my eyes open. It sucks. My bodies internal clock is all fucked up.

Question of the week.
Do any of you have a cure for this that doesn't involve drugs? If you do, I'd sure like to hear it.

Fasten your seatbelts. This is a semi-long one.

2007-02-03T23:05:00.001-05:00

No I haven't fallen off the edge of the blogosphere.

A little story that happened while I was away.

How it started.

L has a good friend form back in high school (we'll call her friend BigO). She and L go way back and her ten year old daughter calls us aunt and uncle. Up until about a month ago we assumed BigO was happily married to her husband of sixteen years. L gets a call from her friend late last week where she frantically explains to my wife that her marriage of sixteen years has crumbled and she has moved out into a local (BigO lives in another state) friends house. While the whole thing is a shock to us, it's not completely unexpected. They had a rocky section a while back that, we thought, had been worked though. I had always speculated that he (her husband) was a little controlling of BigO and had mentioned it to L in the past. What is a shock to L is that BigO moved out and she and her husband have agreed to a divorce since before Christmas. The two (L and BigO) have an interesting relationship. They rarely talk to one another more than two or three times per year but always seem to pick up where they left off and talk as if they had just seen each other yesterday. L was still a little hurt that her long time friend had waited almost two months to let us in on what's going on, but forgave BigO for this because of the turmoil she was going through with the separation. L expressed concern for her friends financial situation because BigO was basically a house wife until about three years ago when she finally went to work for a travel agency. L asked me later if we could send BigO some money. I agreed and the check was in the mail. This first conversation rattled L and she was in a daze about the whole thing. It was also much shorter than their normal three or four hour conversations so L also felt like she wasn't getting the whole story. What she did retrieve from the conversation was that BigO had an affair with another man on one of the travel agency sponsored cruises. BigO also said that she might be heading down here to Atlanta in the beginning of February. Only later did it dawn on us that the beginning of February was a couple days away.

More from BigO.

Just as L is starting to go nuts about BigO and what's going on she gets another call from her friend. Once again the conversation is shorter than usual but BigO says she's flying down to see us. She doesn't have all the details ironed out yet but she will be here on Thursday and leaving on Saturday. We go into panic mode because the house is thrashed and we need to get everything in order to have a house guest. In the course of the conversation, L learns that the man BigO had an affair with (we'll call him Frisco) is eleven years her senior and not what you would call "traditionally" attractive (which tells me he's old, bald, fat, and probably smells funny). BigO is enamored with the dude and emails him several times per day. This turns out to be their primary source of communication because, you guessed it, Frisco is married and lives on the opposite end of the country. Alarms start going off in my head when L tells me this new information. Nevertheless, L gets excited about seeing her old friend and starts planning fun activities for a newly separated woman to do while she is in town with an old friend. L manages to get Thursday and Friday off after having a small war with her boss about it. It's going to be a girls weekend. Everything gets all lined up for L's friend to come to town.

Are we missing something?

Wednesday rolls around and BigO has yet to get back with L about the flight information so we can arrange to pick her up from the airport. L calls BigO, who is on her way home from work, and tells my wife that she doesn't remember the flight number but it's supposed to arrive at 12:30 PM. BigO goes on to say that she will email the information to L when she gets back to her house. Wednesday rolls on over to Thursday and L gets no email. L tries to call BigO on Thursday morning but gets voicemail. She leaves a message for BigO to call during her lay over. The twelve o'clock hour approaches and we hear nothing from BigO. I tell L, after checking the delays at the lay over airport, that BigO probably didn't have time to call between one flight an the next. She agrees that this is probably the issue and heads out to the airport to pick up her friend. I wanted to go but I had to work.

Yep. We're missing something.

So L arrives at the airport and drives around the loop four times to avoid paying for parking while she waits for her friend to show up. After an hour of fighting airport traffic and still no word from BigO, she decides to drive up the interstate to get some coffee and wait for a phone call. Buzzed from caffeine and dealing with traffic, L's phone finally rings. Vibrating through the speaker is BigO saying that the is delayed for weather at the lay over airport. She won't be getting on a plane until after five in the evening. L asks BigO what time that flight will be arriving so she can pick her up later. BigO says that she doesn't need to be picked up because she's staying with Frisco here in town. WTF?!?!?! Although I wasn't there for the conversation, I can almost see L's expression when BigO tells her this. Evidently we assumed that BigO was staying with us when, in fact, she was coming to town to see her new lover. L managed to keep her composure, and didn't even tell BigO that she had already been to the airport to pick her friend up. So BigO takes this opportunity to tell L that story of how she met Frisco and how they were both dissatisfied with their marriages and, despite her best efforts to avoid Frisco on the cruise, they kept bumping into one and other. L is pissed at the whole situation because she always thought of BigO as the good girl who would never cheat on her husband, let alone with someone who was already married. So BigO goes on to explain how it "just happened" and now Frisco is going to be a part of her life. And, by the way, he's the first man to ever "take care" of her in bed, she tells L. This is a woman in her mid thirties who has been married for sixteen years and never had a man give her "the big O." After all the shock and awe, L ends the conversation with a request for BigO to call when she arrives in town and they plan to get together for dinner on Friday so L can meet Frisco.

Something stinks.

Later that evening L and I are talking on the phone about the whole situation. She feels icky about the whole thing and the thought of meeting Frisco for dinner makes her sick. L is mad that a trip she thought was going to be a chance to see her friend and catch up on whats going on has turned into a fiasco of miscommunication and confusion. I tell her that BigO has gone off the deep end and speculate that a woman in her thirties who's never been to pleasured by a partner could probably diagnosed as clinically insane. L agrees. So since Frisco seems to be taking care of BigO, we cut her some slack. We do decide, however, that this dude can't be right for her and she is on a bigger rebound than any other woman in history. A future Frisco intervention is in order. About this time L gets a call coming through on call waiting. It's the area code of BigO so she ends with me and picks up the other call. On the other line is BigO's ten year old daughter asking if her mommy has arrived at our house yet. L has a conversation with the girl and tells her that mommy will be here soon and, when she gets here, aunt L will give her a big hug from you. That was at about 8:30 PM Thursday. We never did hear from BigO that night.

Are we worried yet?

I checked the flights inbound from BigO's lay over airport and found that the one I speculated she was on could have been laid over in yet another city. If that was the case, she wouldn't have arrived until very late. L and I decided, before we went to bed, that BigO probably was scared to call us if she arrived at the late hour. We went to bed thinking all was well. The next day I go to work and L decided to pick up a new outfit to go to dinner in. At this point, it bothered me that BigO hadn't called more than it bothered L. I called a few times during the day to ask L if she'd heard anything yet. Still I wasn't' too concerned because BigO probably has a big night with Frisco. We were starting to get pissed at this woman though. Evidently we were BigO's alibi for the trip to meet her lover and she had failed to let us in on her plan. Now we had her daughter ( no doubt spurred on by her jealous daddy) calling us to see if she arrived.

Hell yea we're worried.

Friday continued to wear on with no word from L's high school friend. Dinner time had come and gone and still nothing BigO. At this point, we had no idea if she had even made it into town. We started to speculate why she hadn't called. Our best guess was that her phone died and she didn't remember to pack a charger. No one remembers anyones number anymore and the thought of her having to call her husband to get the number of people she's supposed to be staying with was probably out fo the question. I was officially in over drive and my imagination started to take over. I wondered if she was stuck in another town sleeping on an airport bench. BigO may a little bit of a misnomer, she' s actually a tiny woman about five feet tall and maybe a hundred pounds with a wet sweater on. The thought of creepy Mr. Frisco picking her up from the airport in a strange city started to sound very frightening. We called the hotel where she said she would be staying in her last conversation with L. No luck, but all we had was her name an Frisco's first name. We called the airline to find out if she made her connecting flight. The first person I talked to said they won't give out that information. The second person I talked to said she canceled her reservations before she even left her initial departure point. Now we had visions of her being kidnapped before she ever got on the first plane. We googled her name to see if she showed up in a news story or something. We called the hospitals. We were officially out of our minds and convinced that something bad had happened. I kept arguing to call BigO's husband or her mom to see if either had heard from her. L refused to involve either one citing that we would kill her mother with worry or destroy her life by blowing her story to her husband when a custody battle might be looming. I asked L at what point do you risk turning her in when she could be in mortal physical danger. Finally she had me convinced that her mother or husband were both bad ideas until we knew something. We were in a quagmire. We kept saying that she better be in a coma or in a ditch somewhere because putting us through this crap was complete bullshit. We finally hit on the idea to call the people she had moved in with. We didn't have their number but we were able to get it from information. We sat in the living room trying to decide if ten PM was too late to call these people we didn't know. Declaring "Fuck it, I'm calling." L dialed the phone. After she hung up, all we had managed to do was worry another couple about the whereabouts of our friend. They were very nice people and agreed that if one or the other of us heard anything, we would call each other. No sooner did she hang up the phone than it started ringing again. She looked at the number and recognised it as that of BigO's husband. She let it go to voicemail. checking the message, L heard the ten year old girls voice coming through the speaker pleading for aunt L to have BigO call home to say goodnight. At 10:30 PM! That set us both off into a frenzy of inaction. We had no idea what to do. We were at a complete loss. In desperation to know anything we tried the airline one more time. L managed to find out that BigO did, in fact, make it to her destination. Somehow this made us feel better. Like knowing something, anything, about her helped ease our concern. We decided to hunker down for the night and hope that we heard something by Saturday evening. Hopefully she would turn up at home.

We're glad you're OK...Bitch!

After a long Saturday of worrying and calling airlines, BigO turned up safe and sound back home that night. She called L at 6:00 PM. My sweet wife, who spent the day falling behind at work worried sick about her friend, promptly tore into her old friend screaming at her over the phone. To which BigO's reply was "I'm sorry. I'm a flawed person." WTF does that mean? Is that an excuse?

The results of not making a simple phone call.

L hasn't talked to her old High school friend since that day. She figures that the ball is in BigO's court. This could be the beginning of the end of a long friendship. The people that took BigO in during her separation with no deadline to move out and who haven't collected a dime for rent or food have decided that she must go. The check we sent the woman is being returned by her current roommates. They also called her mother at some point on Saturday and did what we avoided. they worried the poor woman needlessly. BigO's husband now knows the reason for her trip to "see us" and I'm sure this won't make her divorce any easier. Her ten year old daughter is being turned against her by her husband. Basically, BigO has alienated every single ally she has during the time she needs her friends most. It seems to me that L needs to swallow her pride or pain or whatever and help her friend but she's so mad that she absolutely refuses to make the effort. In spite of the whole fiasco, I still worry about BigO. It seems that all this rejection will force her further toward Frisco. I personally think this is the wrong person to be her only friend during this delicate time in her life.

Somehow I need to convince L that her friendship is worth saving but I don't know how.

All of this for an orgasm!

Speaking of idiots on TV.

2007-02-03T23:02:00.000-05:00

Question of the week.

Anyone else think the men on CNN and FOX news wear too much eye makeup?

Off the mark.

2007-01-27T05:46:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I read what other people write and it reminds me how painfully inadequate my meandering blog can be. Will this stop me from continuing? No. My goal with this written cyber journal is not to become a better writer as I really have no aspirations to become one. Sure it would be fun to write a great novel or piece of work that touches millions and makes me rich and famous but there are much more qualified individuals who are more capable and eloquent than I. When I think about myself as a writer, I compare my skills and opinions with that of a famous person who wants to be taken seriously but should never be. Someone like Paris Hilton for example. I see this chick on the TV and I wonder...How the hell did this girl get famous? I mean, other than having a family fortune at her disposal, why the hell do people care what she's doing? She's not even an actor. The only reason she became famous was for partying and high style that 99.999999999999% of us are incapable of keeping up with. So why worship something like that.? Maybe it's because I spent some of my formative years growing up in the city of angels but I just don't get into what celebrities are doing. I also don't respect them and hang on their every word like many people do. Sure it can be good for a laugh to see them get all self absorbed but seriously, who really who really reads this crap? Strike that. I know who reads it, and I'm not trying to bash them for doing so (really). What I have a problem with, is how people become immersed in it. There are entire channels on TV dedicated to what these people do on a daily basis. Seriously, who cares if they took a shit in a public bathroom? People just put too much stock in what these idiots who live in lala land say and do. Most of these people are complete imbeciles and so far out of touch with reality that they have no business dispensing advise or political opinions or even telling you what's cool to wear. Paris Hilton, Keaneau Reeves, Brittany Spears, Ashley Simpson, the list is endless. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and, if I was famous, I'm sure I would jump on the soap box occasionally. The thing is, you really need to go into deep self examination sometimes and try to decide what's truly important. If your goal is strictly entertainment then go with it. But don't try to pass yourself off as a well educated insightful person when all you have to go on is your looks or your bank roll. Some (many I hope) of us see through your fortune and fame for what you really are. You're a normal idiot like me who got lucky or had the bank roll to buy your fame. That's it. Don't worry, you entertainers still have value to me. You look good in a swimsuit or you act or sing so poorly that it makes me laugh when you open your mouth. Just keep in mind, as you tell me what I should do or believe from your Beverly Hills palace, that you are my entertainment not my god.

Wow this post went way off the mark from what I originally was trying to get across. At least I know I'm an idiot.

Scared of change.

2007-01-27T05:37:00.000-05:00

This weeks question is for those that have switched to the new blogger.

I've been considering the switch simply because I'm tired of being prompted to do so every time I log in. That being said, I'm a little hesitant to cross over because I think it might eat all my old posts or something. Like it would be a travesty to have all my blather erased from cyberspace. So, if you've switched, have you had any problems and is it any better or worse than the old blogger?

Another day of the week.

2007-01-25T20:02:00.000-05:00

Sunday. It's the same as every other day of the week. There's nothing special about it. Unless you live in Georgia where if you want a beer, you better have some left in the fridge or you're fucked. What it amounts to is a law instated by the Christian rule that dominates the heritage in the south. I don't know how long it's been in effect, but I'm sure it's pretty much been here as long as the state has been a state. Now there is a bill being pushed here that will allow the liquor stores and quickie marts to sell on that day which is blessed to the Christian majority here. (Yay!) They want us to vote on which way we want it. I think I'm going to schedule the day off and make sure I turn up at my polling place. Sadly, I will probably be out voted. This is a shining example of how other peoples beliefs get crammed down my throat.

The irony in all of this is you can still buy a beer on Sunday here. All you have to do is go to you're favorite bar or restaurant and order whatever you like. You can get as shitfaced as want as long as you do it in a public place. How stupid is that? It's a conspiracy to maintain high levels of DUI convictions if you ask me. So you're a Christian and don't think it's cool to drink on the holy day of Sunday. Fine, but don't get pissed at me if I blow beer chunks on you in the parking lot of Ruby Tuesday because the sight of you in your Sunday best reminded me of how much you make me sick!

What is it about me and toast?

2007-01-21T04:08:00.001-05:00

I don't know if it's tensions from the lack of nicotine or something darker and more sinister. On the morning in question, I woke up (after the third snooze hit) and L is asking me if we should fly or drive to PA for her cousin's wedding. To say I'm not a morning person is a gross understatement. Just arousing from slumber is not the time to badger me with questions that I will be held accountable for later. Up until that moment, we had planned to drive there at a leisurely pace and visit some sites along the way. I tell her that it's cool no matter what we do. Then she goes off on me for not being more active in our trip planning and I must not really want to drive or I would argue otherwise. And if I don't care about what we do, why even bother going? Now, we all have moments with loved ones where we absolutely want to shove our fists in each others faces. Lets just say that I had a one balled up under the blanket ready to go. Not wanting to escalate the fight any further and needing to swap the radiator in her car before I go to work, I get up and start the coffee. While I'm fumbling around in the kitchen, she (still in bed) starts rambling on about how I don't care about anything and how lazy I am and I don't do anything around the house. I silently go about my business avoiding saying anything in return. I know I'm lazy, but bringing that into the fold on a day where I'm repairing her car before I go work for ten hours doesn't sit all that well on my pallet. To top things off, I did five loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and worked on the bus for eight hours the previous day. But I'm a reasonably intelligent person and I know this fight has nothing to do with my laziness. There is some other issue that is at the core of this tirade. Eventually she quiets down and I assume she may have dozed back off. I make some PB&J on toast and stand in the kitchen eating it. From the bedroom she yells, "Where's my toast! You're not even going to offer me some?" I start to recognize this as one of those times where I can do no right. I've resigned myself to the thought that, no matter what I do or say, at this point, it will only make things worse. I grit my teeth and wait for the next volley of incoherent woman babble that's going to fly out of her lips. "Don't you love me anymore?" She asks, "Don't you care enough to offer me toast?" I feebly try to mutter something about how I thought she fell back to sleep and didn't want to wake her. "Just forget it," she snapped at me and rolled back over in bed. So I did as she asked and went into the garage to replace the radiator.

So what's the moral of this story you ask? There really isn't much of a lesson here. I just wanted to show that it's not all fun and games in the geek household. We have a good marriage but nothing is all good all of the time. The only thing that I regretted was that we didn't work it out before I left the house. I was stewing about it all day at work. She apologized later and blamed it on PMS. I suppose I was also reminded that toast seems to be the catalyst for events in my life and I should avoid it.

Shoot The Duck

2007-01-20T10:38:00.000-05:00

S.T.D. is the second blog I was turned on to. It came recommend from Bob. I have to say, it's a fun little read. Duck is a single gal of my vintage (age) and her consistent posts and "snarky" wit keep me coming back. I like her perspective and she reflects many of my current thoughts and, I guess you would say, values. In between her fun(ny) posts, she lets you in on what it's like to be a thirtysomething woman in today's society. I hovered around her site for quite some time and found most of my regular reads through the links she has posted and those who left comments for her. I'm definitely a lurker when I initially find a blog that seems interesting. I always try to back up and read previous posts to get a perspective on what people are about before I start dispensing my own comments. I don't think I've read Le Ducks' entire site but damn close. She's and excellent writer and her blog is always fun and insightful. So hit the link, if you haven't yet and see what I mean.

You ask me the question of the week.

2007-01-20T10:26:00.000-05:00

This week is for the ladies out there. I want you to ask me any question you like and I promise to answer honestly from a male perspective. No bull. No games. Just the truth from your average guy. Hit the comment button (be anonymous if you're embarrassed) and I will post my answers to your questions for everyone to be enlightened. If it's too personal, just drop me an email and I'll answer privately if you like.

It's simple girls, just click the button below and type away. Some of you have to have questions about why we are such pricks, or what it feels like to get kicked in the nuts, or why your man did that stupid thing he did. I don't think I can be stumped, but if you feel like you can make me speechless, give it a shot.

And guys, feel free to add your two cents.

You have to love this interactive stuff or you wouldn't be reading this. So let's use it to it's full potential.

Speaking of stupidity.

2007-01-18T20:52:00.000-05:00

First question on a written survey at work today. This is not a fabrication. I kid you not.

"Can you read? (circle one) Yes No"

This speaks volumes about the environment I work in.

I'm for Natural Selection.

2007-01-14T00:30:00.000-05:00

There are some stupid people out there. Nature wants to thin the herd but we've progressed to a point where we protect the ludicrously stupid.

Example one:

Driving to the gym the other night, I'm rolling around a slow curve near my town square (think Back to The Future complete with broken clock tower) and a dude on a bike whips out of a side street coming from my left. I see him but only because he has a single amber reflector on his front wheel (which can only be see from the side). I stomp all over my brakes to keep from running him over as he makes his turn ultra wide and crosses the double yellow lines into my lane. After which he settles on the opposite side of the street riding, in the center of that lane, toward oncoming traffic. His bike is a navy color. He's wearing dark jeans and a black windbreaker with a beanie cap that's also black. I accelerate to pass him as I mutter obscenities under my breath. But wait! There's more! No sooner did I stomp on the gas, when he decides to swing back into my lane crossing from left to right and missing the right front quarter of my car by inches as I accelerated. He never even looked to see if he could make the turn or cross the street. His life was spared by a single reflector. In the dark recesses of the evil side of my brain, I wish I hadn't seen the reflective plastic.

Example two:

An airliner landed the other day with a frozen and semi-crushed dude in the wheel well of the landing gear. Ummm...What would make a person think that they could survive a flight in the wheel well of an airliner? Lets gloss over the fact that you aren't likely to survive the gear coming up and move on to the cold hard facts. For every thousand feet of altitude the temperature drops about two degrees Celsius. 80 degrees Fahrenheit equals 27 degrees Celsius. Your typical airliner travels at 35,000 ft. So if it's 27 degrees Celsius on the ground it's -43 at 35,000 ft. Can you say meatsicle? If you're suicidal just spare us the aggravation of airline delays and jump off a cliff or something.

Example three:

George W. Bush.

I rest my case.

Question of the week.

2007-01-13T23:53:00.000-05:00

I liked the question of the week for the short time I asked it and, somewhere along the way, I stopped doing it. But now It's time to resurrect it again.

So in an effort to garnish comments from the few of you that actually frequent "the mad rambling of an airplane nut", I'm going to stick with my recent automotive theme and ask this.

What is/was you favorite conveyance (car, truck, bike, skateboard) and why?

I'm going to try to get away from this car junk. I promise!

Hell on wheels.

2007-01-13T07:50:00.000-05:00

I know this will bore most of you to death but, I was thinking about it, and I've owned a bunch of cars.

The list in the order in which I purchased them.

1- 1978 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme:
My first car. I loved it for a ton of reasons. The main one was the Bench seat in the front. Great for those "parking" events in high school.

2- 1981 Oldsmobile Delta 88:
I purchased this battle ship from my parents after the Cutlass died and I still hate the thing.

3- 1987 Toyota Corrola:
Go here for the story on that one.

4- 1995 Dodge Neon:
First brand new car ever and the salesman saw me coming. I think he's still living on the commission. It was a great car though.

5- 1995 Jeep Cherokee:
Wanted a Jeep for a long time and traded the Neon to get out from under the insane interest rate I was paying.

6- 1995 Mazda B2300:
Traded the Jeep for it to reduce my payments and insurance. I will never buy another pick-up truck as long as I live. Sold it to some kid who lowered it when the mini trucks were all the rage.

7- 1995 Ford Probe GT:
Practically stole this car from the dealership when I caught the salesman in a lie. got more money for it as a trade than I paid up front after driving it for a year. This deal made me a family legend at car buying.

8- 1999 Jeep Wrangler:
My second brand new car ever. Had 4K knocked off the sticker price before I walked into the dealer showroom. It was a fabulous car and, If circumstances hadn't forced the sale I would still own it.

9- 1968 VW Beetle:
I always wanted one and I finally got my wish. This car served me faithfully, including a two year stint with a Pizza Hut sign on the roof, until about three years ago when the clutch gave out. I started to restore it, but the rust was so bad I decided to make it a dune buggy. I still own it and it's a work in progress. It's going to be resurrected as a bad ass little machine when I'm done.

10- 1989 Nissan Sentra:
I bought this for a couple hundred bucks during the Pizza phase as a spare in case the Beetle crapped out. It died before the bug did.

11- 2004 Subaru Impreza:
I wanted one for two years before I bought this. It was the best all around car I could find for the money and the only reason I actually did purchase it was because the bug was down. And I still own it today. But once the bus is on the road, this thing is gone.

12- 1995 Jeep Cherokee:
This is the replacement for the Wrangler. L needed a bigger car for work and this one was cheap and runs strong for it's age.

13- 1967 VW Bus:
It lives but it needs a ton more work to be road worthy.

From the look of things, it would appear that I really like the 1995 model year. It's just a coincidence. I do like Jeeps. Every one I've owned has been dependable and nearly bullet proof. Air cooled VWs are the shizneeeaaaaat. They just have personality.

My top three favorites:
1. The bug (duh!)
2. The '78 Cutlass (there's just something about your first)
3. The Wrangler (uber fun SUV)

Honorable mention: I'm sure the bus will bump the Wangler out of the top three but that has yet to be determined.

Cross your fingers.

2007-01-11T20:36:00.000-05:00

New electronic ignition installed. Check.
Gas can hooked up. Check.
Throttle cable connected. Check.
Battery cable attached. Check.

Fingers crossed and key turned. The starter wound up and...nothing. But it sounded better than the last attempt a month ago. It sounded like it had a shot at firing.

Quickly I jump out and rotate the distributor clockwise a little.

Again at the key with fingers crossed. Starter turned but nothing. Sounded worse. Like no spark at all. Dammit man!

So I run back to the rear again and rotate counter-clockwise past the original starting point.

Crank, hit the gas, and amidst a cloud of blue smoke it comes to life.

IT's ALIVE!!! IT LIVES!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

Forty years old and it gets one step closer to terrorizing motorists, once again, by driving ridiculously slow.

No Smith and Wesson for me.

2007-01-07T06:20:00.000-05:00

Forgot how miserable quitting smoking is. I feel all icky and fidgetey. If I had a gun, I'd shoot the next Mo Fo that walked up to me. I told L that she needs to be patient with me because I'm a little snippy. (ubderstatement of the year) I've been cutting her short the last few days and haven't been my normal tolerant/laid back self. It better get better or I'm gonna jump off a cliff or end up divorced.

We refuse to acknowledge we're insane.

2007-01-04T20:14:00.000-05:00

L and I had a long discussion on my birthday. (34 yuck) It stemmed form being in debt. For a little over five years now, we've been trying to get back in the black. It's been a war with our credit card. We've fought long and hard. The tide has changed many times. This year the goal of being debt free was but a tax return within reach. Then her car broke and we spent too much on Christmas and Thanksgiving and taxes and insurance and bla bla bla. So here we are again, in debt hell, desperately trying to climb our way out. Granted, we are our own worst enemy. Which is really what the discussion was about.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If that's the case, we're both certifiable. We're making the same promise, again, this year.

We will not go on any expensive trips or make any large purchases until such time as our debt is paid in full and we have the cash to do so.

Sounds easy right? Not when all your friends make over twice as much money as you do and are always inviting you to do fun, interesting and expensive things every few months or so. Our problem is we have just enough money to do these things and it's hard to say "no" to long weekends in Florida, Vegas, Tunica, Biloxi, Mexico, The Bahamas and other places where the living is warm or slots go ding. So we've made this promise for the last three years and failed miserably each and every one. What makes the promise so different this year? We've come up with the answer as to why we're having this problem.

It occurred to us, after we literally dodged Roman candles on a muddy farm in Georgia to ring in the new year, that we have been too complacent at living our own lives. It's like waking up in some one else's' dream. What the hell were we doing at a party where we were the only two people who had a full set of teeth? (OK it wasn't that bad, but it felt like it.) We're the types who like to ring in the year in fancy clothes and kiss as balloons fall at midnight. This is just not where we belong on new years eve. What's happened to us? How did two hard rockers who can barely tolerate country music end up among the cast of The Blue Collar comedy Tour on the biggest party night of the year?

It struck us like a locomotive as we sat motionless on the couch on the 2nd day of the year. We've been letting our current batch of friends dictate what we do. Back in the not so distant past, we used to make our own fun. It seems, since we've been in Georgia, that our friends have been the only source of our fun times. We wait for our friends to invite us to do something. We never go out and make our own fun anymore. We're always the invitees and never the inviters. So our richer friends plan vacations and huge activities and we either have to say "no" or "Fuck it! Lets go!" The problem is whenever we say the latter, we put ourselves further behind by keeping up with the Jones'. When the fun is over, we feel guilt and put ourselves back into "pay off the debt" mode. We restrict ourselves so much that we feel guilt for just going out to eat or taking in a movie and therefore we don't plan anything else because we think we can't afford it. We pinch ourselves down and keep our noses to the grindstone until we get another invite and say "Fuck it!" Then the whole cycle starts all over again. In an effort to reestablish our own personalities, we're not only dead set against being talked into big trips but also committed to entertain ourselves in small ways so we don't go nuts and need a break from the tedium of regular life.

To be fair, redneck parties can be fun and the food was actually quite good on Dec 31st, but we were just out of our element on a day we consider more special than it was. We had no one to blame but ourselves for not making our own plans. So starting a few days ago we're going to activate our own schedule and do our own things to reclaim our identities and our sanity.

Tidbits.

2006-12-28T15:02:00.000-05:00

L. asked what I want for my birthday which is within a week. Can you put fourteen hours of sleep on a gift card? It would be awesome if I could use it whenever I was short of Z's. Just whip it out and use a couple hours to refresh myself.

Christmas was fun. We pretty much followed my poem. My dad and little brother met us for dinner at a local restaurant on Christmas eve. Little bro stayed the night and worked with me in the garage all day. Patched the front hole in the roof of the bus. Came out better than the first. Also partially welded in the bulkhead (divider) before I ran out of welding gas. Looks like crap now , but with a coat of paint, it'll be almost invisible.

Before...

After...
Lost my internet connection at the house. Not sure if it's the cable or a virus or something. Which reminds me... We took the POS Ipod back and got a refund.

Went to the DMV to pay my Ad Valorem tax (aka state theft of funds) for my car. You think the inlaws would be pissed I used their $300 gift check to pay for tags on my car? I miss Florida where you paid taxes based on the weight of your vehicle. Cost of tags for a '68 VW beetle. $26.

It's going to be a redneck new year. We decided to go to a party at a friends farm to ring in the new year. They're going to have fireworks by the pond. "The good-uns ya git frum 'cross the state line." Think I'm going wear my leather jacket and welding helmet. I get mental shots of overweight guys saying "Hold ma beer -n- watch this!"

New years resolutions. More Gym. No more smoking.

I feel the need...

2006-12-24T01:11:00.000-05:00

...the need to read.

Got Bob's book today. Excellent stuff. It reminds me that I love reading. It's been a while since I've been a bookworm and I'm overdue to start getting into it again. It's been so long since I've been an avid reader, I feel lost when I go into book stores nowadays. Some day soon, I'm going to spend a couple vacation days in a book store sucking down crizzy and freeloading as many books as I can.

Read a good one lately? Hit the comment button and give me a starting point the next time I'm in Barnes & Noble.

Happy Geekmas

2006-12-23T06:37:00.000-05:00

Twas the day of Christmas and all through the home
Was the sound of power tools with their deafening drone.

L in the basement and I in garage
Working on projects and other hodgepodge.

She with her saw whining away
And me with compressor pumping all day.

Her sawdust is whirling and swirling around
while my bus gets more metal ground down.

She paints while I hammer she sands while I mold
It's an interesting holiday sight to behold.

The sound is quite loud and the neighbors must think
"Those crazy Geeks must need a shrink."

We work and we work 'till Christmas is through
We work because we think it's the fun thing to do.

If you listen real careful after our tools wind down
You'll hear us scream "Merry Christmas!" from our little town.

Hope you got some ear plugs in your stockings.
Mr. and Mrs. Geek

Too busy to blog.

2006-12-22T18:32:00.000-05:00

More coming in the morning. So much for my anniversary resolution.

In the mean time. Here is a pic of my first patch on the bus. This is a roof section where Someone who owned it before cut a skylight or something weird. This represents about twelve hours of work (at lazy plaingeek pace of course).

Vagabond Bob/THGLC/Mr.Bob/Uncle Bobby/Zed

2006-12-16T06:45:00.000-05:00

For the first installment of my salute to the bloggers on right I would like to introduce you to the dude that started me on this whole blog escapade. Bob Makela. I stumbled on his site by pure accident or perhaps coincidence. I was messing around online during one of my weekly midnight shifts and came across it. I have no idea which post I read first, but I was instantly interested in what the wordsmith had to say. So I backed up to the first post on his site and started from the beginning. With few exceptions (some of the posts about not posting enough), it was a fantastic read from the beginning to now.

Bob fascinates me in so many ways. He has a child like enthusiasm that seems to affect every one he meets. Yet his wisdom seems to be enormous. His perspective of our world is refreshing to a skeptic like me. He has an incredible ability to draw the good out of people. Hell, even I've developed more of a soft spot as a result of reading his site. Bob plays by his own rules and it's awesome. He is a guy who lives his life in a way so many of us want but would never have the balls to pull off. I get the impression that people he's close to look down on him thinking that he has more potential. After all, he is a forty-something UCLA graduate who happens to be a talented writer gallivanting across the country in a VW van like modern day homeless hippie. But, that's exactly why I have tremendous respect for him. He stands, almost solitary in the middle of our 9-5/Starbucks society with a big middle finger up to those of us (myself included) who walk around aloof and uncaring. He's the hero in his own story in a life of discovery and interaction with the core of what makes us human. And if people give him shit, I respect him even more for pulling it off and showing us assholes that it can be done. I think the longer he gets away with it, the more he pisses his skeptics off. Even though they give him shit, I'm sure (somewhere in the back of their heads) they're thinking, "I wish I could do that." And that probably makes them resent him more. But there are at least 13 of us that realize the value he brings and we, those faithful few, will not judge. We will do what little we can to help a man on his quest to wake the rest of us out of out zombie-like indifference to the world around us. Even if we run the risk of being arrested for tainted mail.

Thanks Bob. After all, I didn't even know what the hell the fascination with blogs was until I came across "TheGreatestYearOfMyLife." Now blogs are my reality TV. I can now survive a crappy meaningless job by posting things to this site and living vicariously through others. I look forward to reading your book.

Life gets in the way.

2006-12-16T05:40:00.000-05:00

Sunday, in spite of my best intentions of bring the bus engine back to life, I got stuck on the couch watching my Jags beat the piss out of the Colts. After the game, I went to dinner with L and we finished the X-mas shopping.

Spent Monday and Tuesday working on the bus engine. Took way longer than it should have. Managed to get the engine reinstalled in the bus. Haven't had the chance to fire it up because I fried the electric ignition that is installed in the distributor while trying to static time it.

Had a couple people look at the Subaru. One guy swore up and down that, after he sells his car, he'll be back to buy mine. I'm not turning blue from holding my breath though. I had to detail the car so it took time away from my bus revival. Not to mention, playing phone tag and setting up test drives.

L's car broke Thursday night. Not good since she uses it for work. Spent eight hundred bucks on a thorough brake job only to find out the problem is in the transfer case (it's a 4x4). I don't feel bad about the money we spent. I know the thing needed a revamp pretty bad anyway. Limped the thing up to my local shop yesterday. They said they couldn't get the part until this coming Tuesday and then it would be a day before they could get it back to us. This means L wouldn't be able to work until Thursday. I had to locate the part myself. I Found it but I Still have to go and pick the thing up to deliver it to the shop today. She will be back in action Monday evening but only after another $700 in parts and labor and two additional days with no income coming from her. I'm sure I could do the work myself but time is a luxury I can't afford and there are two VWs and a bazillion parts in my garage so space is an issue as well.

I think L desperately needed some time off anyway. The car repair bills are well worth it to me so she can take a breath. Once she got over the stress of driving a broken car around and dealing with the idiots she works for, her mood has become jovial. It's like night and day. It's worth every penny as far as I'm concerned. I'm thinking I'll sabotage her car every once in a while in the future.

So lets recap shall we.

I didn't finish any of my bus tasks.
I've had two unsuccessful sales of my car.
I've spent thousands on unexpected car repairs.
We're losing income because L can't work without her car.
I'm absolutely exhausted and could use about two days worth of sleep.
And I'm in a fantastic mood despite it all.

This is the stuff that makes life fun I guess. Or I'm a masochist. Whichever it is, I'm cool with it.

And then there were lights.

2006-12-09T23:21:00.000-05:00

While I was driving to work tonight, I did my best to appreciate the holiday lights that are being put up. Is it me or are Christmas lights and decorations getting more tacky? I like that fact that people make the effort to put them up, but must everyone buy into the latest light/decorative trend? I miss the old days where people actually had to be creative.

When I lived in L.A., the three or four streets across from the school where we lived had a competition every year to see which block had the best decorations. Every house on every block was lit up. It was beautiful. People used to come from all over town to see the displays. Cars would be lined up down our street, which wasn't even a participant, as the holiday approached. They would all turn off their headlights and drive down the streets with parking lights only. That was back in the eighties when we still had control over our own headlights. These people went all out for this deal and the stuff they came up with was quite clever. Across the school yard from us was a huge house that had Santa riding a Captain America motorcycle in the yard which was pulling a sleigh full of reindeer. On guy had a 30ft tall Santa he would erect every year. Even the Jewish people in these neighborhoods participated. One family had a red nosed reindeer with a Menorah for antlers. I never understood why Jewish people don't get more into the light displays. After all, Hanukkah is the festival of lights is it not? So why not celebrate with the crazy Christians and throw up some color?

At any rate. As I was driving to work it seemed that all the creativity has disappeared. Now everything comes prepackaged for easy installation and storage. The latest thing that bugs me is the inflatable stuff. It was cool when it first came out, but ever since then, it gets more trite.

Funny how I'm so judgmental yet I haven't put up a single light yet.

Bus on the brain.

2006-12-09T06:09:00.000-05:00

I was going to post something cool today but I'm enthralled by my new VW workshop manual that came in the mail yesterday. So I'm now making a plan of attack for this coming weekend of hippie van resurrection.

To do list:

Today:
Purchase a couple more parts and get sheet metal from Lowes to repair roof sections.

Tomorrow:
Reinstall engine after thorough cleaning and inspection.
Hook up to gas can an see if it will fire up. (hopefully without catching on fire or anything)
Take a spin around the block and see if trany is working. (crossing fingers)

Monday-Wednesday
Weld missing body panels back in place. With any luck, I'll be finished welding.

Side note:

I'm gonna go with a lime green color like this with black accents. This is where you, my loyal readers, can help. I need a good word to put on the license plate. I'm sort of thinking of calling it the Jolly Rancher "JLYRNCR" but I'm not sold on that. So this is your opportunity to play..."Name my bus!" There will be no fabulous prizes but, if you ever see me driving down the road or my picture in "HotVWs" magazine, you can say, "Hey! I named that bus!"

Not a tech geek.

2006-12-08T12:35:00.000-05:00

Bought an Ipod for L. Can't get my computer to download Itunes 7 from the Apple site so the Nano is currently a useless $200 paper weight.